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I recently came across a Reddit thread asking guys about the time they realized a woman was just not into them. Of course, I immediately thought of the movie He's Just Not That Into You because it discusses the same topic: when to know that it's just not working out with someone and it's time to move on. Here are some things I learned about the topic, from a guy's perspective.
1. "Usually, either I am putting all the work into making conversation OR I've tried to arrange something concrete in terms of going on a date and I've been dodged. Either is a good indication that things are going nowhere and it's time to move on."
2. "Getting one-word responses back to everything and always being the one to initiate a conversation. This is just true of friendships in general. It sucks to feel like the only person giving a shit."
3. "When she said she wasn't ready for a relationship and then got into a relationship two weeks later."
4. "When she takes days to reply, finally does, and then makes excuses that she was busy."
5. "She always had a 'girls night' or some excuse to never show up, yet expected me to drop everything and be with her when she wanted."
6. "When, after three years together, I stumbled across some explicit texts between her and her ex. It hammered home that my view of the relationship was a lot different from hers. That was seven years ago. It left me heartbroken. I've thought about her every day since. As soon as the name-calling starts, you know the other person has no respect for you and it's over. That is the sign that you need to part ways."
7. "When I asked her out and she said, 'No, I think of you like a brother.' No hard feelings or drama. I wasn’t mad. I was kinda touched that she thought of me that way. We are not as close these days because life sent us in different directions."
8. "She acted as if I was bothering her when I went to talk to her."
9. "I noticed when the effort wasn't reciprocated. The flirting and/or conversation was one-sided. She'd say things like, 'You deserve better.' 'I’m not ready for a relationship.' 'I don’t want to lose you as a friend.' Also, the good old hot-and-cold routine: 'I’m always so busy.' 'I need someone that’s going to fight for me.'"
10. "We were making love. I looked at her, and she looked so bored. She had always been insanely horny before, but it was like a switch happened. She wanted someone else."
11. "The moment she starts referring to you as 'bro,' you know it’s over."
12. "She spontaneously made out with this other dude and asked me for advice. I knew then I was never leaving the friend zone. I moved on instantly."
13. "If she says she would love to hang out but isn't making concrete plans — she doesn't want to hang out."
14. "In online dating, when the girls give me very short responses to what should be open-ended questions. Either she's not interested in me or she's not interesting enough for me to keep trying. Regardless, I'm not going to waste my time or hers."
If you have thoughts to share on this topic, share them with me in the comments below!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.