I often write posts where men share their perspectives on things because I find it super interesting to hear things from guys that I wouldn't otherwise know of or even think of.
So, it shouldn't come as a surprise that I wanted to share this thread that I found on Reddit where guys shared struggles they have that women will never understand. Here is what some men had to say.
1. "I had a situation in which I overheard my fiancée's mother once say to her in very different words that men have only two emotions — rage and horny. Basically sounded to me like she thought all men with emotions were just conmen lying to get sex."
2. "Questions like, 'Why are you wearing pink? You’re a guy.' 'Why are you drinking anything that’s not a beer? You’re a guy.' 'Why are you in this pottery class? You’re a guy.' 'Why did that movie make you tear up? You’re a guy.' Just about every guy gets questions like these on a regular basis that they probably don’t even notice anymore."
3. "Trying to find the balance of being emotionally vulnerable and masculine in such a way that maintains attraction. This leaks into communication, sex, outward behavior, and damn near everything in a relationship."
4. "I was the victim of domestic violence, and was laughed out of the police station when I attempted to report it."
5. "Talking or interacting with a child and instantly getting seen as a pedo. Once headed out with my 3-year-old niece to a playground — half an hour later, the police were involved. Needed my sister to clear things up."
6. "Being expected to be able to step up in scary situations when you are scared shitless yourself and don't want to either."
7. "If we don’t express our emotions in a way that matches expectations, usually through actions and body language, they generally aren’t received or taken seriously, even when communicated clearly. It typically doesn’t matter how we say we feel. Then, if we go so far as to have an outburst like yelling or crying, the emotions are finally understood and taken seriously, but they change people’s opinions of us, usually in a negative way. There is no 'I was just upset' excuse for us. We have to remain in control at all times because we’ll either be considered too scary or too weak, but in doing so, we’re constantly told that we don’t open up enough."
8. "Trying to ask out women with little to no signals to do so. Having to approach and initiate every romantic interaction without coming on too strong and not seem like a creep."
9. "If you don't open up about your feelings, you're a toxic man. If you do, you're either being rude or being a pussy. We're only supposed to have the CORRECT feelings, at the correct time, at everyone else's convenience."
10. "Not being believed when it comes to sexual harassment. I was sexually harassed by a girl in my class a really long time ago, and when I told the school, they didn’t do anything. Both of my parents got involved, and they still refused to do anything to the girl who was harassing me."
11. "My wife and I are very affectionate with our young son. Tons of hugs and kisses. I know that there will be a point where he will no longer want that from me specifically but will be okay with her still showing that kind of love."
12. "Modern society can view us as being totally useless but somehow in charge of everything."
13. "Trying to figure out if she’s into you, or just being nice."
14. "Middle-age loneliness, particularly for married guys with kids. If you're not a middle age bro douche, you probably have no friends. None. Maybe you're amiable with work colleagues, or maybe you have a game night with some neighbors, but they're barely more than acquaintances. Your last friend was 10, maybe 20, years ago in the before times. Seems like it's almost a societal expectation at this point."
15. "It's not okay to be a stereotype who tells a woman to get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich. But it's acceptable — if not downright encouraged — for a woman to knock me for not being able to lift something heavy saying, 'You're a man, you're supposed to be able to do this!'"
16. "Sometimes, she just wants me to listen (which I do), and other times she wants me to fix it (which I also do). I get it right more than 50% of the time, The other times I get yelled at for not doing the right thing. She'll go on a rant about me not providing the correct response. I just remove myself from the situation and wait for the cool down."
17. "I have a terrible issue with crying, even when I'm at my worst and feel a constant urge to cry for weeks straight, I won't and can't. Sometimes, I think I can't cry without permission. I am well aware that I don't need permission, but my body doesn't care."
18. "Women have no idea what it's like to go your whole life with no one ever thinking to give you flowers."
19. "Trying not to enjoy sex, because if you do, you didn't last long and are not a real man."
20. "Trying to figure out if I should pay on the date to be polite but I also should have us split because we're equal, but there's a gender pay gap so I should pay because I'm a man, but gender roles are meant to be cast aside?"
Is there anything else you could add to this list? Share it with me in the comments below!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.