Dating in 2023 is no easy feat! Dating apps can be tricky to navigate, ghosting is a thing that still exists — sheesh, I'm tired just thinking about it. I came across this Reddit thread that asked men about their most frustrating problems in dating today. The thread was filled with interesting responses from the male perspective. Here is what some people had to say.
1. "The only issue I've had is in gauging how quickly to escalate. Some women seem to lose interest if you move too slowly, and others get turned off if you push too quickly. Online dating really exaggerates this because you can't get feedback from body language during the conversation."
2. "That women want you to approach them but are unapproachable at the same time."
3. "How often women ghost. I don't care much about getting rejected. Sure, it sucks — but it's an expectation we have going into dating, and it's going to happen quite a lot. Reject me in any way except for ghosting. At least if I get blocked, insulted, or politely put down, I know the other person's intentions and can move on with my life. If I'm ghosted out of the blue, I have no way of knowing if the other person has moved on, is just too busy to contact me, or is playing hard to get. I'd take getting directly rejected 100 times over the ambiguity of getting ghosted by someone I was interested in."
4. "Women don't understand why men aren't vulnerable but will lose respect if you're emotionally weak. Women complain about the monotony of dating apps, then tell us it's not okay to say hi if we don't know them. Men are told to treat every woman like a queen as they tell us we are untrustworthy, uninteresting, and simple-minded because we are men."
5. "Women think that I am supposed to chase them. Jump through hoops to gain their approval. Nope. I match your energy, and if you don't reciprocate, I have zero patience for it. If they were genuinely interested, they would put in tons more effort."
6. "My gripe with dating apps is that a majority of women's profiles just have their Snapchat or Instagram handle, and they expect me to text them on those apps. Why the heck should I have to use another app's texting feature when one exists on the dating app?"
7. "The barrier to entry is quite high, but also 'the bar is on the floor.' It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me if the minimum standards are so low, but I still can't get a date."
8. "The most frustrating part of dating that I see is the unstated expectations. I'll read women’s dating profiles, and the vast majority are about what they want. I'll read men’s dating profiles, and the vast majority are about what they have to offer. Any relationship that emerges has an implicit expectation that the man must satisfy the woman’s wants. This was my experience when I was dating and married (even 30 years ago). Most of my male friends who are married have a relationship that can be characterized by 'If you don’t give me what I want, you’ll be punished with negative emotions. If I have to do that for long enough, the relationship will end.' Who wants that? Certainly not me."
9. "Modern dating is the most frustrating thing — specifically how most people my age (20s) simply aren't trying to engage romantically outside of dating apps, and even if they do, the expectations are already so inflated by said apps, it just becomes a frustrating ordeal for both parties."
10. "First dates with women my age turn into financial and relationship history colonoscopies. They want to know details of your financial prospects so they know if you can either keep up or provide, and they want to know what they are getting into because they are looking for the guy they hope to be buried next to someday. On a first date, they want to know the deepest and most painful details of why your first marriage failed that only your closest two friends in the world know."
11. "I have to say the most frustrating thing we've seen lately is the judgment and worrying about what others think. Whether it be family, friends, or whoever. Whatever happened to just being happy?"
12. "Before I got off apps, the common reason that frustrated me most was the unequal investment of females on their end. Guys generally get fewer matches but don’t mind the hard work to improve themselves and put in the effort to make things work. However, the standards women set nowadays are just ironic to me. Personally, I found that women are too spoiled as they 'effortlessly' get matches and male attention. Otherwise, I would not have read profiles of women who 'expect' no less than a gentleman while they look like rubbish."
"I understand the women that say that they are strict and they want a perfect guy that is serious about them — and I agree they deserve happiness. But if a guy makes one mistake, he already lost all his chances."
13. "With modern dating, I don't like the platforms. I am not witty enough to catch the attention of a match since I don't pay attention to my phone unless I want to, no notifications, no sounds. I don't like playing 'games' of dating."
14. "That women will make rules for men who will make great partners before getting intimate with them — but will break those same exact rules for a random conventionally attractive dude at a party."
