I often joke that if I had to choose one category to spend money in, it would be skincare and makeup. However, with the cost of living continuously increasing, I've been thinking twice about a Sephora run because it can end in me sometimes spending money on things I don't need. Still, social media makes me feel like I do.
For as long as we can remember, ads have always told women to fix something — products to cover up gray hair, makeup to cover skin imperfections, expensive razors to be hairless. IMO, nowadays, social media has made this even worse, with millions of people online talking about products we "need" to feel feminine, put together, or youthful.
Unfortunately, society puts pressure on women to live up to a certain standard regarding appearance. Wearing makeup, styling hair, grooming brows, nails done...the list goes on! Whether you want to get these services done regularly is a personal preference (many women don't), yet the pressure exists. I sometimes can't be bothered with going to get my brows done (especially since the price keeps going up for them), but I feel ungroomed if my brows are messy and overgrown.
Recently, I chatted with money and career expert, podcast host, and New York Times bestselling book author Tori Dunlap to learn how not to let societal pressures get us to spend money on things we actually don't want, how to spend money more intentionally, and more.
"So the thing that happens even before we [women] start spending money on beauty and any stereotypically feminine purchase, it's called frivolous and is used in a negative connotation. [We're told] it's the reason we can't get rich or save money," Tori told BuzzFeed.
"It's always 'Well, the reason you can't save money is because you spend too much money on lattes or because you get manicures or because you buy purses or makeup' and so on," Tori said.
"Let's say we do cut out getting our nails done, buying any makeup, or any sort of thing that might be considered more than just basic grooming. Well, then we show up to work and we're considered 'tired,' or we show up to a job interview and we don't get the job because we look 'unprofessional,'" Tori said.
"So it is this massive double standard, where we're told not to spend our money on things we're then being shamed for spending our money on. Then, if we choose to opt out, it has different consequences too," she continued.
If you feel torn and unsure where to spend your money on beauty maintenance, Tori has some helpful advice.
"I often talk about value categories — pick the three areas in your life where you get the most joy that aligns with your values, and that's where most of your discretionary money should go now. Say makeup, if that's something that you love, or skincare. If that's something that you really value, that you want to spend money on, that brings you joy, and you can afford it, that's fantastic, and that's not the reason you can't buy a house. It's not the reason you can't save money," Tori advised.
"The second question is: Is this something that's actually going to make your life better? Do you actually want to spend your money on this versus just filling a void trying to cope with something that's deeper than just a purchase? If you are also in debt or you're financially struggling because you are overspending, the question then is, is this thing I'm about to buy worth staying in debt longer?" Tori said.
For this, I personally don't think expensive beauty treatments like Botox or filler are worth it, IMO. It might be important for others, but at only 30 years old, I don't feel the need to spend hundreds of dollars on regularly getting these treatments to make my skin look good.
Lastly, Tori advises you to wait to buy something, as challenging as it can sometimes be when you have access to purchasing anything right at your fingertips. "Ask yourself to wait 48 hours. That doesn't mean you can't buy it. But if in 48 hours you're still thinking about it, great, buy it. Especially with things like TikTok shop, you most likely don't need that thing you see on there," she said.
