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44 Thoughts Every Guy Has While Shopping

Ugh. Going to the store. Overcome your shopping anxieties by shopping at Express, where you’re bound to find the perfect pair of jeans.

1. OK, it's definitely time to replace these old jeans.

2. Right? I mean, there's a hole in the crotch.

3. Is that a bad thing?

4. I guess I'll just go to the store.

5. Ugh w/e, I'm gonna try these.

6. I think they look pretty good.

7. But... are they too tight?

8. What size do I even wear anyway?

9. Oh these are supposed to be skinny jeans…

10. Are skinny jeans still a thing?

11. Are skinny jeans emo?

12. Is emo still a thing??

13. Can the girls even see the D in these skinny jeans?

14. Who invented "clothes" anyway?

15. Hmm maybe I could use a new pair of kicks.

16. Is there ever really a bad time to wear driving mocs?

17. Nah.

18. Are these shorts close enough to my knees

19. Will girls like it if I wear this??

20. Ah dope: tanks! I need a tank, yo!

21. Real talk. Do my guns look good?

22. You know the saying: Sun's out, guns out!

23. Hmm… the guns aren't ready.


25. If I buy this tank now, maybe it'll inspire me to hit the gym and get these guns ready.

26. Since the tanks are a no-go, guess what time it is: IT'S T-SHIRT TIME!

27. I promised my girlfriend I wouldn't buy anymore T-shirts with superheroes on them.

28. But does she have to know?

29. This grey one looks pretty good — I'll take four.

30. I wish they made GOOD Velcro shoes.

31. That mannequin is kinda hot.

32. Where are the jorts? I need jorts.

33. Girls love jorts... yeah, JORTS!

34. Do I have to try this on?

35. I hate having to try shit on.

36. I'm so hungry.

37. Word. I can wear this to the gym AND to class.

38. How much do these cost?

39. Guess I won't be wearing these anywhere!

40. I wanna shop somewhere beggars CAN be choosers.

41. Why are there sooooo many pins in this dress shirt??

42. Is it possible to find a pair of cargo shorts with even more pockets?

43. Shouldn't this be easier?

44. I wish my mom still bought my clothes.

Shop for denim easier at Express.