We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to share their petty love stories. Scroll through and delight your petty little hearts!
1. Sunday night Catholicism.
2. The sexy breakup.
"I told my ex that I didn’t love him, I never did, he's a major asshole, and I was going to break up with him ASAP, but I said it all in Spanish. He doesn’t understand Spanish, and he said I was cute and he liked it when I 'talk the sexy language' to him. I broke up with him three days later." —rcdpowers1999
3. Team Horny.
"My husband is a big fan of the New Orleans Saints and had a beloved Joe Horn jersey. I don’t recall the circumstances of our argument, but I made my way to his closet with an industrial-size Sharpie and neatly printed a 'Y' on the jersey. We resolved our differences and I forgot about it until I got a call from him on his lunch break months later. He told me he had gotten strange looks from co-workers all day and someone asked if he thought he was being funny. He was directed to a mirror and informed that he had been wearing a HORNY jersey at his office’s Sports Day. OOOPS!" —madzam231
4. Cheese drawer.
"One time my boyfriend was really pissing me off, so I filled his bedside table drawer with Cheez-Its. They’re still in there, and I laugh every time I open the drawer!" —ls2310
5. By any means necessary.
6. Shrimp-stuffed curtain rods.
"I took out my phone at Thanksgiving dinner to see that my ex live-in boyfriend changed his relationship status to single. Thousands of texts and voicemails later we broke up (he was cheating). My stepdad, a super jolly old guy, was just as angry as I was. He told me to put shrimp inside the hollow part of the curtain rods and close them up. I'm not sure how bad the outcome was since we haven't had contact since then, but I'm sure he wasn't bringing home any new girls until he figured it out." —Hayden Grant, Facebook
7. New password.
"He still had my Netflix, so I waited until he finished the second to last episode of some show to change my password." —baileyj4f3c6d6c8
8. Movie spoilers.
"Once during a really heated argument, my husband decided he was 'done talking' aka shutting down communication with no resolution. He stormed out of the house and told me he was going to go see a movie. Since I knew what he was going to see, as he had been talking about it for weeks, I Googled spoilers for the movie and texted him them while he was on the drive there. He returned shortly after and told me what an asshole I was. Still worth it, though." —Samantha Marie Wysong, Facebook
9. And the Darwin award goes to...
"I submitted my first ex-BF to the Darwin Awards for something stupid he did in high school. It was accepted, I have the book... I don't think I'm petty enough to flat-out reveal it, but I will admit that it involves a rocket and he is still alive." —Milica Moore
10. Let it burn(er phone).
11. His mommy and me.
"One of my girls at work had this guy who did nothing but cheat on her with his ex. She caught them in her car messing around, so when he was out of town, his mother let her into his apartment and she trashed everything in it. His mom knew and she was totally OK with it. That was pretty savage." —Sherri Thomas, Facebook
12. All farts everything.
"I had an on-and-off-again long-term boyfriend. At the time, we were kinda getting back into the 'on' stages. He was dating a girl I knew from school, so I took a picture with him and made it my profile pic and then went to add the girl on Facebook. She denied the request and broke things off with him.
"At that same time he also had an OKC account, so I went on his laptop and changed all his profile information to be about farts. In things about him: he just loved farts. The seven things he can't live without: farts." —Sara Heinemeyer, Facebook
13. Free his nipple.
"He called me a name, so I cut all the nipples out of his shirts and broke his CDs and put them under his pillow for him to find when he went to bed." —deonnar2
14. Boy toy.
"I found a screenshot in his DMs that a girl sent him of his contact in her phone: 'My Boy Toy.' I set the screenshot as his background before I went to work." —sierras40fc37c21
15. Free of charge.
16. DIY sweatshirt vest.
"My husband was constantly ruining my clothes by putting things in the dryer that shouldn’t be dried, or putting things in the washer that need to be hand washed. Recently, he did a load of laundry and pulled out some of his clothes to be air dried, but put some of my dry-flat-only clothes in the dryer. He didn’t think it was a big deal, so I took a pair of scissors and cut one of this favorite sweatshirts down the middle. He makes sure to read the labels now." —lindsayp4fc26f69a
17. Don't spread it.
"Years ago, when we were on a break, I saw my boyfriend at a party flirting with another girl. I walked over, played nice, then told him the doctor had called and wanted me to remind him to finish all the antibiotics so he didn’t spread 'IT' to anyone else. We’ve been married 27 years and have five kids. They’re the only real STDs we’ve ever had! Yes, that’s a joke. Yes, my kids laugh at it, too!" —thatcrazymom
18. I ain't sorry.
"One time I was mad at my boyfriend for lying about something, so I watched the 'Battle of the Bastards' episode of Game of Thrones without him. While he was watching it I yelled, 'Sansa feeds Ramsay to his own dogs!' from the other room. His reaction was so priceless. I’m still not even sorry!" —alysab3
19. Bank (un)rolls.
"I gave him a box of $300 worth of half-dollars to pay him back, unrolled. The bank won’t take them back that way, and coin counting machines won’t take half dollars. It weighed about 20 pounds." —kaitlint4d0ac85e4
20. Bagel frisbee.
21. Prom com.
"When I was in high school, my boyfriend had a really obnoxious female friend who I didn’t care for. He wanted to go to her party after prom, but I was specifically not invited. He chose to go without me, so I chose to bring his hot college friend to prom instead of going with him. Pettiest thing I have ever done." —emilyl4cdaf24ea
22. The L-League.
"My ex was a low-life with a pipe dream of being in the NBA, so that meant he had no job because he needed to 'practice' (wasn't even that good). I was paying for everything. He eventually asked me if I could pay $200+ so he could go to a D-league camp. Well, he started treating me cold AF after I paid, and he broke up with me because he was 'going to be very busy soon, and wouldn’t have time' for me. I lost my shit. I called the place where the tryout was and asked for my money back. They said no at first, but eventually a little girl power happened and a woman gave me my money back and took him off the roster. He didn't know until the day of the tryout. He blames me for his lack of career. It was really his lack of left-handed ball control laziness on defense, but I'll accept the blame graciously." —a44034cf5d
23. These bros ain't loyal.
