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27 Things All Outlet Retail Workers Know To Be True

School's out. Freak out.

1. You begin your new job so full of hope.

Second day on the job...a customer asks where something is and I didn't know where it was so I tell her, "I hope you find it!" #RetailLife

2. And then a week later, you lose what's left of your sanity.

Last night when I was working a closing shift I said "thank you" out loud to a garment for not falling off the hanger. #RetailLife #okHollyn

3. Customers test your patience when they bring in the outlet's coupon book.

4. And they don't realize they need to make an actual purchase in order to get that "free gift."

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5. Your heart breaks in half when you're working on floorset and they do this:

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6. And your blood boils when they do this:

7. You have your best fake laugh prepared for every comedian who jokes, "So you’re practically giving it away for free!"

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That's not funny and it never will be.

8. You want to scream when they ask you to do basic math, like 50% off a $100 handbag.

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I know you know...

9. And when they ask you to get them a "fresh" handbag from the back.

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It ain't produce, people!

10. Which they think looks full, like this:

Paramount Pictures / Via empireonline.com

11. But really, it looks like this:

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12. Speaking of the stockroom:

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13. You've definitely thought about calling in "sick" on a rainy day because the entire world will inevitably decide to go shopping.

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14. And the first day of summer vacation is the absolute worst because you know the outlets are going to look a lot like this:

15. Also, you've been shocked by watching people stock up on Coach bags during a winter storm rather than, say, basic necessities.

Columbia Pictures / Via reddit.com

Like, seriously? Shouldn't you be at Home Depot or something?

16. If you work in apparel, people always ask you if something's "last season."

17. And if you work in cosmetics, they always ask you if the product's "expired."

18. You fear those tour buses because, you know, tourists.

They can sense when you're doing 50% off PLUS an additional 20%.
brownpau / CC BY http://2.0 / Via Flickr: brownpau

They can sense when you're doing 50% off PLUS an additional 20%.

19. And you dread those extended hours because there goes your social life.

Close at 10pm. Scheduled until 11pm. Leave at midnight. #retaillife

20. You give zero fucks when a customer threatens to leave because the sale at the full-price store is better.

Via whatshouldwecallwomensctrs.tumblr.com

21. Or when they make a fuss over the fact that you can't take a coupon from the full-price store.

Disney / Yotam Perel / Via yotamperel.com

22. Or when they realize the prices are exactly the same.

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I don't make the rules. I just work here.

23. Because guess what? Some outlet stores are actually full-price stores.

24. Christmas and birthdays are easy because you can get so many gifts for super cheap.

Jennifer C. / CC BY http://2.0 / Via Flickr: 29638108@N06

25. But a little piece of your soul dies every time because you know deep down that some of the stuff is just really, really poor quality.

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26. There's no denying it: Outlets are hell on earth.

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27. But hey — it's all good, because at least you can read.

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