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Which Esmé Are You?

Which adjective would people use to describe you?

You are a MODEL-literally! (hello fischer price!) You're the biggest New York girl and the most stylish baby on the block. You are peak Esmé. Queen of the baby disco. Tres iconique!

Baby Esmé

You're kind of a sassy bitch and think you're the main character. Creator of the Harry Potter fan club and rocker of many a horrible print. Biggest Olivia Newton-John fan.

Elementary School Esmé

You are a musical theater nerd in the worst way possible. You're kind of super mean but like its middle school so we forgive you. When I wanted to go to Harvard lol. Silver lake girl through and through.

Middle School Esmé

Oy vey. Are you ok? But like seriously you are a little bit of a psycho bitch, but not without your iconic moments. I mean, Michael Cera song, piercing your septum on zoom school, Bill Hader fanfic. Keep pushing through, babe. And stop listening to Elliott Smith.

Freshman Year Esmé

You are a judgy sunglasses girl with a pretentious streak. The start of the cherry coke addiction. Stop chain-smoking, babe. This is peak pretentious Esmé era. What do you expect from a 16-year-old who just read On the Road for the first time? You're a Chloe Sevigny wannabe (Missing the blonde, though). Birkenstocks & socks. Need I say more?

Sophomore Year Esmé

Bored hopless romantic era. You pretend life is a French New Wave movie to excuse the fact that you talk to absolutely NO ONE. On that moviemaking grind (rip Vodka). Reallyyyyy into Bob Dylan and crosswords. Cowgirl boot queen.

Junior Year Esmé

Kia Soul owner & the best big sister. The end of the cherry coke era! Poetry book writer & flip phone girl. Duolingo queen!!! Little socialite & podcast legend. Sentimental as fuck. Liberal arts college bound! To be continued...

Senior Year Esmé

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Which Esmé Are You?

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