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The DO'S And DON'TS Of Summer

According to the wise movie mantras of Jaws, Now And Then, and Heavyweights.

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DO: Throw a MASSIVE party.

And order plenty of food.

Because most of it's going to end up on your face.

DON'T: Swim in the middle of the ocean.

DO: Use the buddy system if you dare to go in the water.

DON'T: Get pregnant.

DO: Dance like Lars.

DON'T: Forget to hustle.

DO: Talk about hard-ons.

DON'T: Go near the water!!! SERIOUSLY.

DO: Take a few moments for self reflection with a Cosmo quiz.

DON'T: Skimp on boat size.

DO: Get high with a hippie.

DON'T: Take responsibility for your actions.

DO: Kiss someone.

DON'T: Let them tell anyone about it.

DO: Splurge on some of your favorite foods.

But not all at once!
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But not all at once!

DON'T GO SWIMMING EVER, BECAUSE YOU WILL BE EATEN BY A SHARK!

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Just forget you even know what the word "ocean" means, OK?!

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