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    Posted on May 1, 2013

    The DO'S And DON'TS Of Summer

    According to the wise movie mantras of Jaws, Now And Then, and Heavyweights.

    DO: Throw a MASSIVE party.

    And order plenty of food.

    Because most of it's going to end up on your face.

    DON'T: Swim in the middle of the ocean.

    DO: Use the buddy system if you dare to go in the water.

    DON'T: Get pregnant.

    DO: Dance like Lars.

    DON'T: Forget to hustle.

    DO: Talk about hard-ons.

    DON'T: Go near the water!!! SERIOUSLY.

    DO: Take a few moments for self reflection with a Cosmo quiz.

    DON'T: Skimp on boat size.

    DO: Get high with a hippie.

    DON'T: Take responsibility for your actions.

    DO: Kiss someone.

    DON'T: Let them tell anyone about it.

    DO: Splurge on some of your favorite foods.

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    But not all at once!

    DON'T GO SWIMMING EVER, BECAUSE YOU WILL BE EATEN BY A SHARK!

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    Just forget you even know what the word "ocean" means, OK?!

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