Learning his teammates’ names? That needs work.
LeSean McCoy has been calling Matt Barkley “Mark.” Thought that was his name, until reporters corrected him. “He never said anything.”
“Who, Mick Foley? Great QB. He and Matt should have a fun time competing for the starting job.”
“Best hands on the team? Jack Marlin, for sure. GREAT hands.”
“Man, no one is better at left tackle than Justin Biebers. NO ONE.”
“Really, really excited to have Ice Cream Topanga on our defensive line. Big get for us.”
“Really, though, we need stability at the QB position. Of course, that leads us back to one man and one man in particular. Y’all know exactly who I’m talking about, so it seems superfluous to say his name aloud, but that would be ol’ Bort McSlinkyLegs.”
- Donald Trump said that his comments about Sweden were referring to a Fox News segment, not an actual incident in the country 🇸🇪🙃
- The CEO of Uber is investigating sexism and sexual harassment claims after a former employee said her reports were ignored.
- Geologists say they've discovered an eighth continent beneath New Zealand. "Zealandia" is 94% submerged underwater 🔎🌍
- The US ambassador to Somalia gave the country's new president a "Make Somalia Great Again" hat and the exchange was ~confusing~.