Honestly..
I really have not many words for this semester aside from what the heck just happened. Everyone around me knows that OB is not my specialty, and it more than likely never will be. I'm not good with small babies, pregnant moms, or just kids in general so to say that I was not looking forward to this semester is an understatement of the year.
Let me start by saying, yes the babies in the nursery were cute and yes I spent most of my clinical time in there holding them and rocking them in the chairs while their slept because it was the cutest thing. But also...THIS CLINICAL SCARRED ME FOR LIFE. I saw a vaginal and c-section and oh boy. OH. BOY. Seeing a 4th degree tear in real life makes me never want to ever push a single thing out of my body like that. So props to the women who have done it because I surely cannot. My clinical instructor was amazing and if I could stick her in my pocket and take her to capstone with me? I would. In a heartbeat because that woman was honestly a work of art as a teacher. She knew how to be chill and relaxed with us and helped us understand things that maybe we didn't in class. Heck, she even did a google hangouts for us to answer any questions we had and help us in her free time. Truly, remarkable teacher.
As for class? No. Just a solid no from me. Everything I learned in med surg about the human female body did a complete 180 with pregnancy and my head is still spinning just thinking about this. So much can go wrong because of one smaller human growing inside of you that it's just a little crazy to me.
Did I feel on edge with this class? Oh boy I did. I felt like every day I walked into class or clinical I was out of my element and I hate that feeling. I hate feeling like I have no idea what in the world I am even doing and this was that moment for me. I questioned a whole lot about myself during this clinical rotation. I made friends, I lost friends. It happens. But I did make one good friend and had a heart to heart with her during clinical and I hope that I will stay good friends with her because we're both on this wild journey and it's nice to have someone to talk to through it.
Upside of this semester? I got an intern job. I know, crazy right? I really love it so far. The patients are as sweet as they could be and the nurses are some of the coolest that I've been around at the hospital.
Thank you God for giving me all these wonderful opportunities and please, let life keep blessing me.
Talk to ya'll after Peds!
-E
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