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I Low-Key Have Sexual Feelings For This Heated Massage Cushion

It's one step closer to fulfilling your dream of an at-home spa.

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Just like pretty much anyone with a pulse, I love a good massage.

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But it's an expensive habit — and as much as I would kill to be able to afford a weekly appointment with an amazing massage therapist, even regular services at the most budget-friendly spas can add up.

So naturally, after giving this Homedics massage cushion a spin at a friend's house one night, I couldn't stop thinking about it for weeks.

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Four of us had gotten together for dinner, and afterwards we each took turns, glass of wine in hand, using the shiatsu-style, remote-controlled massager for a half hour. And let me tell you: The experience singlehandedly elevated a casual get-together with high school friends to an evening better than any house party I'd ever been to. Or maybe I'm just getting old. But the point is, it was freakin' amazing.

After a bit of deliberation (and some cursory cost-per-use calculations, because I'm generally frugal AF when it comes to stuff that isn't absolutely emergency-level necessary), I was sold. I decided to gift it to myself for the holidays two years ago, and it's still one of my favorite purchases to date.

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You just plop it on a chair, plug it in, and prepare to feel blissed out. (TBH, no one's stopping you from laying it flat on a bed as well! You're welcome.)

There are several Homedics massage cushions on the market with varied features and at different price points, but I love this model specifically because it pretty much has it all: First off, it offers three massage styles to choose from — "kneading" (for a deeper, shiatsu-style massage), "rolling" (for a gentler, up-and-down massage), and the option for an additional "tap" (basically a strong, fast tapping effect for a more ~invigorating~ massage). In addition to an allover massage, you also have the ability to direct the massage on just your upper or lower back, if you're looking to target specific knotty areas. You can adjust the width of the massage action, and there's a "spot" option as well if you'd like to focus the kneading on one area.

Oh, and see that button on the remote that says "heat"? The whole dang cushion heats up too. Yeah, that's right: Once you buy this you can have a HEATED MASSAGE every night of your life! (Have I convinced you to hibernate all winter with this thing yet?)

I have mine on my desk chair at home, and while of course I love putting my feet up, turning on some music, lighting a sweet-ass candle, and plugging the cushion in and letting it do its thing while I sit back and chill TF out, I just as equally enjoy using it while I do some work on my laptop or get in some reading. Just like the intensity of the massage, the level of relaxation you wish to indulge in is your choice alone!

At just under $200, sure, it's not exactly cheap — but considering the price of an average massage, and the fact that you don't need to leave your home, get dressed (!), or put a time limit on your blissful experience...it's well worth the splurge if you intend on using this puppy semi-regularly.

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I still treat myself to an IRL massage every so often, but since I've invited this cushion into my life, I've felt the need to get one much less often.

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Of course nothing compares to the services of a seriously awesome massage therapist, but if my back is a little sore after a too-intense workout, there's a crick in my neck after sleeping in a weird position, or I just need to ease my tense muscles after being hunched over a computer for eight hours straight, there's free relief waiting for me right inside my bedroom door. Also, it's pretty great for parties.

Get the Homedics Quad Shiatsu Massage Cushion from Amazon for $188.99 or Bed Bath & Beyond for $199.99.