I’ve never really liked sports and I’ve never really watched them. Sure, I’d catch the occasional thing when the Olympics are on, (okay, so I might have a slight figure skating addiction) but I’ve never sat down and watched a game on tv, let alone in person. So when I had not only one, but two invitations to a Whitecaps soccer game, my friends were more than a little surprised to hear that I was going.
To explain, the real reason I was going was because there was a charity match before the main game featuring tv celebrities and sports legends. I might not understand sports, but a bunch of hot actors I love running around in shorts? That I can get behind.
So to get into the charity match you have to have tickets for the main game as well. I wasn’t able to get tickets by the friend I was going with, but that was okay for the charity game because it was general admission seating. Then it was time for the Whitecaps game and suddenly I was sitting by myself, in between two men who clearly knew what was happening in the game, unlike me.
I decided to make the best of it and grabbed my crochet hook and yarn and started crafting while the people around me gave me strange looks. Then as the game started I started texting a friend my reactions and thus 28 thoughts from someone who is clueless about sports during a soccer game was born:
1.Send help. I’m alone and there’s sports.
2. Why is there singing? I’m so confused.
3. I ended up in the wrong section and some guy kicked me out of my seat.
4. People keep yelling things when the players are announced. Is this what sports are like?
5. And I’m between two men who are asking about my crochet.
6. Can’t a girl who knows nothing about sports crochet in peace?
7. At least the players’ butts look amazing in these shorts. Yup, still bi.
8. The cheering when someone gets a goal is fun.
9. I wonder how many players get concussions from HITTING THE BALL WITH THEIR HEADS!
10. I just realized no one has scored a goal yet. Why was there standing and cheering?
11. Sports are weird.
12. A lot of people fall down in this game.
13. Dammit, the other team scored. BOOOOOOO!
14. Who even am I, right now?
15. Some fans are obnoxious. This is not surprising.
16. Some of these players look like babies.
17. Oh dear, there’s a ton of booing and yelling. I think that was a penalty.
18. Huh. Video review.
19. Yellow card. People seem to know what this means. Note to self: look that up later.
20. And I've officially gone through a ball of yarn.
21. Dammit, the other team scored again.
22. 5 minutes added on for the penalty. I’m catching on!
23. We almost scored!
24. So much booing
25. And I'm deaf now.
26. Aka we scored!!!
28. Soccer fans are passionate
28. It’s so interesting that everyone stands up and cheers. It’s like a standing ovation. (Is my theatre nerd showing?)
We ended up leaving at half-time because we were all exhausted so I don’t actually know who won the game. I still have no clue about the rules of soccer, but I must admit that seeing it live
was super fun because of the energy of the crowd. Who knows, maybe I’ll go to a hockey game next!