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Which Junior Sailor Are You?

The Class of 2018 is here to play, and way too excited to become seniors/enablers in just a few short months. If you'd like to know which brand of reckless you'd be, this quiz is for you.

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  1. A classic here: It's noon on a Friday. Where are you? What are you doing?

    In my bed, by myself, still asleep
    In my bed, not moving, will not move until 2 at the earliest. Housemate will bring me food.
    I already went to class and though I feel like shit, life is great.
    Oh my god I'm dying, lord help me. Casey?
    Making "breakfast" (brunch) in the ATO kitchen, texting the group chat to see if I did anything heinous
    Still in class, still bulletproof.
    documenting Mariah and/or Jacob feeling like shit
    definitely something better than whatever you're doing
    in bed, hoping the girl next to me will wake up and leave soon so I don't have to feel bad for waking her up.
    Still in bed, livin the life. I'll be up in time for practice.
    I've probably already been to the gym, but I still feel like shit.
  2. Who does Facebook say your soulmate is?

    Myself, because I am a laser sailor and will be forever alone
    Grace McCarthy
    Griffin Rolander
    Haley Brown
    Tyler Cicero
    Sandy Beatty
    Scott Barbano
    Casey Gowrie
    Jacob Siegelbaum
    Bret Milot
  3. Where are you spending your holiday break?

    driving the coast of senegal like a boss
    home then with my gracie
    Europe, bitch.
    with my family
    wherever Mr. Gowrie brings me
    New York, New York
    somewhere exciting
    crushing Malcolm in Miami
    Icing Malcolm in Miami
    home with my pup!
  4. What's your favorite activity on campus, other than sailing?

    Hanging out with friends
    hurriedly trying to spend time with all my friends before I leave for Paris
    sitting in my house doing nothing
    video games with the bros
    blazé blazé
    organizing study hours
    photography, TedX Tufts, everything else interesting
    I'm not on campus.
  5. Do you know what Mars being in retrograde right now means?

    Wtf is Retrograde
    Is this something from cosmo?
    omg I read my horoscope this morning too!
    You actually believe in that stuff?
    dude what does "mars" mean?
    Oh my gosh this girl in my ballroom group is SO disorganized right now because of it.
    Ok I'm stressing out bc I know I can't make any big life choices until the 8th, when it's out of retrograde, but I'm going to Miami before then! What if I do something dumb!
    ESR you've gotta be kidding me. No more goats this time, ok?
    I need a drink.
    That Mars is some nasty stuff, buddy.
    This kind of question is why I quit this sport.
  6. What's the best advice your mom ever gave you?

    Stop dying.
    Your parents will always love you, no matter what.
    (orientation day, pointing at Sandy Beatty) "Don't become that kid." *challenge accepted*
    Just do your damn homework and you'll do great in life.
    Don't drink, have sex, or go out at all.
    Be happy!
    Go to Tufts. It's a family tradition.
    Be polite. Like really, really polite. Always.
    Follow your dreams, but remember to call home
    No more dating people younger than you.
    Study harder in English class
  7. What's your theme song?

    If you don't know it, look up the lyrics.

    On My Own by Miley Cyrus
    How to Be a Heartbreaker by Marina and the Diamonds
    Alors on Danse by Stromae
    High You Are – Branchez remix
    Unappreciated by Cherish
    Trust Nobody by Cashmere Cat
    Waiting on the World to Change by John Mayer
    I Don't Fuck With You
    Too Little, Too Late by JoJo
    Stronger by Kelly Clarkson
    Maneater by Nelly Furtado
  8. What do you want to teach the next generation of the team?

    Nothing. I want to graduate.
    How to re-rig a boat from scratch properly
    How to pose for a picture while sailing
    How to chug, even though I can't
    How to pole dance
    How to heavy crew
    How to grind
    How to mix a drink (pour it on ice)
    How to put balls in cups
    How to basement dance
    How to pick up european men

Which Junior Sailor Are You?

You got: AA

Congratulations. You are everything that the team aspires to. You are...the most interesting man in the world (of Tufts Sailing). Men want to be you, literally all the women want to be with you. You're literally flawless, down to the scar from that one time you fought a shark and won. Also, that second time you fought a shark and almost lost. Speaking of which, stop almost dying. Most of all, stop doing things that bruise your beautiful face, because the attractiveness of the team rests on your perfectly chiseled shoulders.

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You got: JuJu

JuJu would like everyone who gets this to know that he is his own person and not just Sandy jr. This is true, but JuJu used to be such a good kid...and then he met Sandy. Then he became a FUN kid. So, JuJu: Your dancing skills are second only to Scott's, though the wall seems to be your best friend some nights. Your DJing is...special, but so are you, and we love you. We didn't know who/what we were going to get from Maryland all those years ago, and we definitely couldn't have expected you, but we couldn't have imagined anything better. Also, watch out or you may complete the trifecta...and I don't think you want to do that.

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You got: Nainoa

Ah, Niner. The fearless leader, exiled to the strange land of Cambridge. We wish you could come back and show us all to be swole like you. You pull harder than the rest of the team combined, which is understandable since you're so damn beautiful. Never change. Please come back to us. Keep going to Barry's Bootcamp. We miss you. *tear*

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You got: Molly

Mollz-ballz, plesgoose, pledgkus. So many names for a girl who doesn't let those names (or anything else) in edgewise. Just kidding. You can be really good at listening, we just really like making fun of you for your talking. But, we wouldn't be the same without all the things you say. We'd also all love for you to hold us as nicely as you do that turkey, but I guess that's reserved for Michael now.

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You got: Lara

So you had a lot of side bangs in high school. Like, more than the average amount. Just saying. But also, holy learning curve!! Walk on to A team real quick!! Supes impressive. But the good stuff...the freshmen will never know about the tumblr, but we will never forget. rip. Or the cupcake costume. Also rip. more like RIP. What we would've done for "yikes bos" back in the day. You are also going to lead the charge of teaching the freshmen how to be jumbos, because back in the day you pulled pretty hard. Definitely had something to do with the side....bangs.

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You got: Lucy

lol. yikes bos. those european boys don't know what's coming for them, but neither do all of your classes in French. You're gonna crush both of them (hearts and exams). You're going to return in the fall and take this team to the next level. The bos will be back and crazier than ever, and we can't wait.

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You got: Michelle

Hey, what? You sail now? Weird, I thought you could actually throw and catch balls, which we can't do. Turns out you're not too shabby at both things. Only problem is that you wear all of Casey's gear and so you're easily confused with a shaved casey with long hair, which is not out of the question. Who tf knows what he'll do next...that latest haircut was oddly Bitney-like. Anyway, back to you. Nice face there. You're pretty rad. Come back in the spring – you know you want to.

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You got: Fasolo

This is photographic evidence that you used to sail. Also photographic evidence that Ken screwed up in not getting you here year one...sorry about that.

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You got: TPaige

Tyler, Tyler, Tyler. The acquired taste that we've all grown to appreciate. You're quite the character. Though Ken hates the presence of your moth (because it's always in the way), we all appreciate getting to use it for snapchats to our friends back home showing how cool our team is. We totally haven't told any recruits that Tufts has a moth when its really yours. Nope. None at all. Sorry. Anyway... your odd rigging skills are second to none, but we all want to know if you use that fancy line for anything else.

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You got: Alp

Yeah, guess what, you're stuck with us. Sorrynotsorry. You're the one who had to try to be cool and do that whole campaign thing, and now you have to stick around with us for another year. Maybe these next three semesters you'll actually come out with us.

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You got: ESR

Ok, so yeah, Mercury's in retrograde right now and you're freaking out. But it's all gonna be okay as long as you listen to your mom... it'd just be nice if she told you things BEFORE they happened and not said she knew they were GOING TO afterwards but didn't tell you so that you could learn for yourself. But you're not bitter. You're not bitter at all. You're bitter, but it's fueling some dope lifting sessions and you're going to show up in Miami ripped and ready to go sail with the alums. Go Bos. You're also going to keep making these Buzzfeed quizzes until you've exhausted every group of people on the team because you can, and you're really funny. Well done. Time to go hold a pug, because it's 2 am and you're skiing at 9. Also, remember the rule for the rest of break...always hold two drinks so you don't have a hand free to text boys that you shouldn't. SQUAAAA

Molly Plesgoose
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