1. I don’t even know where to begin with this very important news.
2. We could start with his face, I guess? His flawless face.
3. We could definitely discuss in detail how fantastic he looks in a suit or how we don’t mind his unruly beard.
4. We could talk about how his natural paternal skills make us all weak in the knees.
5. Or fantasize about being his vampire lady? Or how we could have been his vampire lady, you know what I mean.
6. We could definitely agree that he could only wear this forever and still look like perfection.
7. Or we could pretend we were listening to him talk about cinema but really imagine him discussing the ins and outs of our future.
8. Maybe spend a few hours pretending to be whoever he’s gazing at?
9. We could most definitely have a drunken heart-to-heart with this man. Or against this man. What? Ha. I mean. But, really.
10. Or we could just chat about Swedish men, in general.
12. Or share tea and crumpets, perhaps?
13. Maybe play this really bizarre but weirdly OK version of hide-and-seek together?
14. We could get our highlights done together.
16. So should we all send in our résumés, or how is thing gonna work?
- Top Mexican soccer player Alan Pulido has been kidnapped outside of his hometown in Tamaulipas, a high-crime state.
- Yep. Marco Rubio said he's sorry for implying Donald Trump has a small penis.
- Lights have turned Australia's most iconic buildings into seriously psychedelic works of art.