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What 181 Girl Should You Date?

Feel like a good time? Feel like a hilarious time? Feel like an ok time? Feel like having an existential crisis thinking about all this ~time~??? Then step on up and find out which lady residing in this clusterheck you should go round with. TBH they're all queens so you will be happy to be in the presence of any, but you might as well waste your time and take this quiz anyway that Elysia worked so hard to make.

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  1. What do you think looks most attractive on your date?

    A hoodie and one of 80 pairs of black leggings
    A robe or a backwards cardigan with no bra
    Also a robe, or a leather jacket and animal socks
    Pristine makeup, dangly jewellery and a scarf that one of Elysia’s one night stands left at the house
  2. What is your favourite 181 girl’s cool talent?

    Give her any combination of veggies and she’ll make a mean dinner
    Give her any showtune and she’ll put on a one-woman show
    Give her any child and she will turn into a nurturing patience-queen
    Give her any sequence of numbers and she’ll remember it for a creepily long amount of time
  3. What’s your lady’s career?

    Fixing the efficiency of the healthcare system one annoying internship at a time, all while teaching the elderly how to send e-transfers
    Hanging billion dollar canvases all over the world while serving bougee men at the yacht club their Sunday meals
    Making every kiddos’ dreams come true by helping them be healthy, active, kids, all the while running a summer camp like a boss
    Putting people’s minds at ease through therapeutic dramatic practices, while saving very interesting Oshawa locals from drowning at the beach
  4. Where would you go on your first date?

    Dinner at Wild Wing, nosebleed seats at Book of Mormon, then for a drive cause she will never leave her car for the whole summer
    Freshii for dinner, little workout sesh at the gym, fall asleep while watching Star Wars, then ruin your healthy dinner with Chinese food at like 11 pm
    The cutest coffee shop you could imagine, to discuss art probably, and then make popcorn with coconut oil and watch an indie movie
    Sample craft beer even if she doesn’t like craft beer but it’s the closest thing to cider, go for a long walk, and discuss intersectional feminism for hours
  5. You’re lounging in her bed after your date. What music does she put on while you chat and wait a respectable amount of time before the eventual sex?

    She already made a “study break” playlist that has a mixture of Miguel and emotion-filled synthy 80s music on it.
    She put on a ballad by FUN., but you took over and put on Blink-182…which of course every girl finds really sexy…
    Country. She just discovered how much she loves country music last summer, because where she’s from, playing icebreakers while sitting in the grass is about as backwoods as it gets.
    Something French. Something sultry. Something sweet.
  6. How does your relationship blossom?

    The moment you lock eyes you will immediately enter a loving relationship and you will never leave 181 again, except for when you do, and it will always be 30 min before Elysia’s alarm goes off
    She will pull the whole I don’t need you-I’m independent af-thing and will make it appear as if she’s not ready to settle down, until one day she realizes she’s head over heels for you and freaks the hell out because it’s not “on brand”
    You will both ignore the fact that you have chemistry for three years, and then you’ll decide to date long distance after she kisses you even after you threw up, and she becomes best friends with your sister which you hate
    The girl you’re dating was a serial relationshipist before moving into 181, and as per the influence of her new roommates’ empoweringly-slutty pasts, she’s finally letting her freak flag fly…so honestly we’re still figuring this part out
  7. Where do you go on vacation together?

    All-Inclusive Caribbean cruise babyyyyy
    Not sure but you better believe her best friend and her best friend’s mom are coming with
    Paris duh
  8. What is your first big fight about?

    You didn’t get jealous when she kissed another 181 girl?
    You didn’t text her first, every day?
    You chewed with your mouth open and thus you’re a disgusting human?
    You stirred the oatmeal like you were angry at it?
  9. How did you make up?

    You let her post a picture of you from when you were chubby and take her out for ice cream
    You bring her flowers and text her first, but you’re not annoying about it you know?
    You let her write 20 poems about you so she can perform them back to you in angsty spoken word style
    You do her laundry and teach her how to play video games that she should have known about 10 years ago
  10. How do you stop her when she's being hilarious but it's mostly self-deprecating and therefore pretty uncomfy?

    Tell her that the patriarchy can’t control her anymore until she’s like YAS and takes a nap
    Threaten her with impossible task of turning her straight (just the thought will horrify her anyway)
    Take away her Mr. Noodles stash and refuse to hug her back
    Make an “are you kidding me face” and refuse to respond until you notice she’s hangry then you give up

What 181 Girl Should You Date?

You got: Lyshy Quichey

Congratulations on dating this complex mix of social justice warrior and banking specialist. Your evenings will consist of listening to her overthink aloud, while she debates between getting drunk off of a bunch of cider and dancing it out, or listening to Bon Iver and talking about her feelings. Good luck!

Lyshy Quichey
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You got: Nikki G

Congratulations on dating this equally hyper as she is sluggish blonde beauty. She hates vegetables and loves to paint on random pieces of wood that she finds washed up on the beautiful shores of the 'Shwa. You're in for a lot of Bo Burnham sing alongs. Good luck!

Nikki G
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You got: Shay-bae

Congratulations on snagging this art aficionado! You'll snuggle up together with your chia seed pudding and bubble tea and smile the night away. She'll probably kiss you and feel guilty about it for like 8 weeks because she isn't used to "slutting it up", but don't worry. Good things come to those who wait. Good luck!

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You got: Caitlose

Congratulations on reeling in this feisty Quebecer. You're probably looking at dating someone with high cholesterol after all the butter she puts on her Montreal bagels, but she'll swim laps around you to compensate. She can't wait to be a trophy mom who goes on lots of camping adventures, so you'll have a down-to-earth relationship. Good luck!

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