Recently, u/francishouseman asked "divorced people: what was the FINAL STRAW?" and we decided to round up the best responses:
1. "One of my best mates got divorced. They'd been obviously unhappy for a while so it wasn't a complete surprise. I asked him exactly this question and he answered: 'She was out with a couple of male co-workers. I began wondering if she was sleeping with them. Then I realised that I didn't even care if she was. That was when I knew I felt absolutely nothing for her anymore'."
2. "When one friend privately tells you they are concerned for your health and safety, you dismiss them and adamantly defend your spouse. When five friends individually tell you they are scared for you, then you start to listen and to accept an uncomfortable truth."
"It’s so hard to see what other people see when we’re in the thick of it."
3. "He was so selfish for years and made excuse after excuse for it. But he always put me last. I was ready to leave him, but we made one last big push to make it work. We did a lot of things together that I had been wanting forever, one of them was getting SCUBA certified."
4. "Mum left my father when she caught him uploading a naked picture of himself to a pornographic site. She said she watched him for a good two or three minutes before he noticed her."
5. "The day my two-year-old said 'shut up, bitch' to me. I had endured ten years of abuse in my marriage, but hearing my innocent child repeat his father’s words was enough for me. I called a lawyer the next morning."
6. "He made a poor financial decision which almost led to us getting evicted. He did not tell me until he 'figured it out'. However, he discussed the matter with people at work."
7. "I was the problem in the marriage. We were young when we married and I wasn’t done being a careless partying person. Looking back, I was such an ass. My partner didn’t deserve that at all."
8. "Our marriage was miserable for both of us. During a counselling session the counsellor mentioned that some couples are just better off divorced. It was an off-hand comment not related to us specifically, but for me it was an epiphany. I realised on the way home that it was over."
9. "One Saturday I said to my then husband, 'we should take our daughter to the zoo. It's such a nice day.' His reply: 'I work all week. I don't feel like it.' I worked all week too. And I was the one that picked her up and dropped her off at day-care every day. I was a single mum before my divorce, I did everything with my daughter by myself."
10. "When I borrowed his tablet, I looked through his messages and saw one where he asked his female friend to spend the night with him on a business trip."
11. "Claiming to want to make it work but still having dating apps and refusing to wear a wedding ring."
12. "Probably when she thought I was sleeping and she got her gun and tried to shoot me in the head. (I had removed the firing pin and I heard the whole thing)."
13. "I worked non-stop for years to support her ability to pursue her dreams. The financial strain of only my income supporting both our lives and her networking put a ton of stress on us, and neither of us handled it all that well. When she finally landed her dream job, suddenly we were done. Her choice."
14. "He told me 'it was time to get over' my miscarriage the day of my follow-up appointment when my OB said the procedure was successful. AKA, four days later."
15. "The realisation that we had become 'apartment buddies' instead of life partners. It was like we were running a co-habitation business without the benefits. The romance had moved out, and we were left with joint custody of a fridge. Time to close that chapter and let the next tenant of love move in."
16. "He stole from a subordinate at work and tried to get someone else arrested for it."
17. "A cheese plate. I went over to my friend’s house to visit him after he’d had surgery and he had a cheese plate for us to snack on with some goat cheese. I said 'Omg, I love goat cheese!' and my friend looked at me and said 'I know? You mentioned it the other day so I got some.' I realised that my friend had listened to something I had said, noted it, remembered it, and gone out of his way to do something nice for me. After he’d had brain surgery, no less."
H/T to u/francishouseman and AskReddit for having this discussion!
Note: All submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Do you have anything else to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Additional thumbnail credits: Getty Images / Fox / Nickelodeon