From Being Too Clingy To Avoiding Conflict, People Are Sharing The 15 Ways They Ruined A Relationship

"Getting too comfortable with doing the bare minimum. Take them on dates and buy them flowers before you wish you could again."

While it's easy to blame an ex for the ruin of a relationship, sometimes we realise we're the ones who made a mistake...

NBC

So, when u/udnag asked people to share the mistake that caused the end of their relationship, we decided to round up some of the most upvoted responses:

1. "Focusing on all of the things they aren’t giving you instead of all the things they do give you."

Freeform

u/ChainIll6447

"The 80/20 rule. You’re receiving 80% of what you want but choosing to focus on the 20% you don’t have. If you were to find someone who is doing the 20% that you're lacking and break up with the 80% person, you’ll find out you are getting the 20% , but only 20%."  

u/Miss_thinkalot

2. "Telling my friends about all of our fights."

u/alliereev

"x100. My wife actually taught me this. The fight will be over, but now you have friends who are not only keeping a bias opinion of your spouse, but it's like you are showing them a side of your partner that isn't normally a thing, but they can now think less of your relationship."  

u/VermicelliJealous949

3. "I took a nap one day, she thought I was cheating. One big blowup argument later, I found out she was cheating on me."

u/Aangs-correlation756 

4. "Accommodation to avoid any conflict. At the time I was working through a lot of childhood trauma and I didn't know better, now I do."

Nickelodeon

"I lost my identity trying endlessly to please him so he wouldn't abandon me, but he was going to do that anyway. You can't and shouldn't have to earn love from people, and them betraying and disrespecting you is a cue to exit, not a sign to 'try harder'." 

u/Cheese_whizkid

"This sounds exactly like what happened to me as well. Always agreeing with everything, because I didn’t want to be the 'annoying girlfriend'. Looking back, I am glad it ended."  

u/AtWarWithEurasia

5. "Getting too comfortable with doing the bare minimum. Take them on dates and buy them flowers before you wish you could again."

u/Cheesy_Whisker

6. "Staying quiet waiting for the appropriate time to communicate."

"I created an unneeded, stressful environment that could have been avoided by just talking it through immediately. Thought I was doing the right thing by waiting for a better time."

u/Own-Being-1973

7. "Trying to do everything I could to make him more comfortable, to unhealthy extents. He had a short fuse, so I often ignored my own wants and needs in order to not stir the pot."

NBC

"This included not directly telling him when he overstepped boundaries as to not hurt his ego and risk him getting pouty."

u/youonlyhearthemusic 

8. "I’ve tanked a lot of relationships by thinking everything needed to be fixed. I almost did it in the one I’m in."

"He’s in a bad mood, he’s being snappy with me, we need to fix this, I need to sit down and have a heart to heart, I need to COMMUNICATE that he’s hurting my feelings right now. I’m overly therapised and really thought this was the best way to handle everything." 

u/relentpersist

9. "I was a 'if they want me to know, they’ll tell me' person married to a 'if they care about me, they’d ask' person."

u/KieshaK

10. "Jealousy. I made this mistake for years."

Comedy Central

"Once I had my heart broken enough times I kinda just gave up and went along with whatever in relationships. You wanna go out to lunch with some other guy? Great have fun, bye!" 

u/Inourmadbuthearmeout

11. "I once made the mistake of assuming my partner could read my mind. I kept my feelings bottled up, thinking they would somehow understand what I needed without me having to say it outright. Eventually, this led to misunderstandings and tension in our relationship."

u/GlobalBreak311

12. "Allowing my partner to step back or ‘slack’ when it comes to big life events. We purchased a home and I did EVERYTHING. It created resentment. Our relationship has never been the same. He had allowed me to do everything for so long but the house situation was a breaking point."

u/JollyBid477 

13. "Being too clingy. It was my first relationship and I continued to lovebomb and be clingy to my ex even after he got a new boyfriend."

adult swim

u/sploshy8 

14. "Compared everything in our relationship with others. Trust me, it really is an unhealthy habit."

u/Dafuq5280 

15. "Not giving them enough space, and not taking space for myself if I felt hurt by something. I think the real mistake is that I just didn't like being alone with myself, which talking to some friends, seems to be pretty common."

ABC

u/minatsooki 

H/T to u/udnag and AskReddit for having this discussion!

Note: All submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

Do you have anything else to add? Let us know in the comments below.

Additional thumbnail credits: NBC / Nickelodeon / Getty Images / Fox / YouTube