Dear allies: Please don't make me read another list of those murdered within my community.
Every year on November 20th, transgender communities around the world memorialize the souls lost during that year due to transphobic violence.
I have participated in TDOR each year since I came out at the age of 17.
I am 23 years old now, which makes this year my 6th TDOR.
Each year there are countless numbers of Black and Brown transwomen who are brutally murdered, but this year I don't want to mention the number. Their deaths aren't legitimatized through numbers. I also don't want to mention the number because mentioning it doesn't seem to be working.
Even if it was just one transperson murdered during 2016, it's more than what we should be striving for as a society.
Each year, TDOR was more for allies than it was for trans people. I would go to rallies and memorial services. We would read out the names of all of the beautiful souls lost. Allies would cry their tears, but most transpeople in the crowd were stone cold.
I remember the feeling when a young transman entered the list. Each year, there are one or two, and I feel a shiver of death down my spine. A piece of me dies and transcends to another spiritual realm when I lose another brother of mine.
November 20th is approaching, which means there will be remembrance events that are meant for allies and trans people to memorialize their dead.
I want everyone to keep in mind a critique of this type of event: who is it empowering?
I am all for educating allies, but I wonder how much trauma porn is necessary for them to get the message.
If you are trans in the U.S you are at a high risk of being murdered. And the people most likely to murder you? Your family members.
Not your trans or queer family, but your family of origin.
If you are trans and Black and femme in the US you are at an even higher risk. The list this year includes deaths such as running women over repeatedly with their car, pushing them off of buildings.. etc.
One year a transman was murdered by his own kids. They wrapped a plastic bag around his face and suffocated him to death because he didn't disclose his trans status to them.
I don't speak for all transgender people, but I know during this month and especially on TDOR--I don't need to be tagged in the brutal murder of trans people. I don't need your poems, lists, or candles.
I need real empowerment. I need artwork to be shared of our beauty--our creativity and our culture.
If you don't know at this point that being murdered is a common concern of most trans people, welcome to the party--you are a bit late.
I need trans people leading transgender day of resilience 2016 with a powerful force and grace. I need people standing up for our bathroom rights, our reproductive rights, our rights to walk on the street without being harassed.
I need people showing up for our success and excellence. I need closeted trans adults to show up for their youth. I need teachers, doctors, researchers, philosophers, mailworkers, truckers, secretaries, to be shown on flyers. I need a future where transgender people are loved, successful, and happy to be imagined.
I need space to mourn the dead of my community without allies taking up too much space. I need to mourn. I need space to imagine a multicultural and mulitracial trans movement.
Share This Article
