1."Are you a wombat? Cause that booty knocked me off my feet."
2."I feel like I'm the air in a takin's nose, because you're making me hot."
3."If we were dik diks I'd make poo piles all around you, to show the world that you're mine."
4."Hey are you a beluga whale? Because those lips are pulling me in."
5."Call me a fennec fox, because when you talk, I'm all ears."
6."If you were a manatee I'd want to be your food, and spend a long time inside you."
7."If we were giant elands I would fight for you at BREAK-NECK SPEED, because you are DROP DEAD GORGEOUS."
8."Are you a Przewalski's horse? Because I wanna be the first to ride you."
9."Hey, did you know echidnas have a four-headed penis?"
10."Are you a reticulated python? Because you're taking my breath away."
11."How much does a polar bear weigh? You might want to say 'enough to break the ice', but this is not always true. Polar bears weigh 900-1,600 lbs and are experts at distributing their weight to avoid any ice breakage. Hi, my name is [insert your name.]"
12."Are you an archer fish? Because you just spit on me a little while you were talking and I've fallen prey to you."
13."Hey, did you know the pangolin's tongue can reach up to ten inches? Wanna see something that rivals that?"
14."Are you a Galapagos tortoise? Because you look like you're hiding some goodies under that shell."
15."If you were a poison dart frog, then I'd be a Native American, because I wanna rub my dart on your back."
16."Are you an agouti? Cause you've cracked open my cold heart like a Brazil nut."
17."If I was a beaver I'd be slapping my tail, because I'm in danger of falling in love."
18."Are you a sea butterfly? Because I'm caught in your trap."
19."I must be a tapir, because my instincts led a path to THIS tall drink of water."
20."Are you a condor? Because even if you peed on your legs you'd look cool."
21."You make me feel like a sea cucumber, because when I first saw you my stomach dropped out of my ass."
22."Let's pretend to be prairie voles and spend the rest of our lives together setting an example of monogamous love for the rest of humanity."
23."Might as well start calling yourself a Singing Dog, 'cause tonight Imma make you yodel."
Share This Article
Want the best of BuzzFeed Animals in your inbox? Sign up for a newsletter today!