11 Things Starbucks Baristas Are Sick Of Hearing

There's actually no such thing as a "secret menu."

1. "Do you sell just REGULAR coffee?"

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Reg-u-lar coffee? What's that? Sounds fancy!

2. "Why is everything on your menu so expensive?"

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Because most of the employees are poor college students who barely get paid minimum wage.

3. "Are you SURE you used nonfat/soy/almond/coconut milk?"

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If you asked for it, then I did it. Stop being a condescending ass.

4. "Oh, I said I wanted that ICED, not hot. They must not have heard me."

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No, no you didn't. I was standing right there.

5. "I want that one 'Secret Menu' drink. You know the one, right?"

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There are more than one. And you'd better have the damn recipe on you!

6. Male customer: "I want a frappuccino, but don't make fun of me for getting a wussy, girly drink, LOL!"

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I don't give a shit what you get. Frappuccinos don't have genders, my friend.

7. "Can I get [that one drink that came out years ago and didn't sell so they took it off the menu]? It's my favorite!"

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We don't even have the ingredients for that anymore. Get on with your life.

8. "Why don't you sell [random thing]? You should tell Starbucks to get it!"

You actually think I have power? That's adorable!

9. "I want that extra extra hot, I don't care what the standard safety temperature is, I want it scalding!"

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I hope the skin on the roof of your mouth peels off like cellophane, you douche!

10. "So-and-so usually makes my drink for me, I never have to ask for it, so I don't know what it's called. Is he/she/they here?"

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No, they are not. Maybe you should be a fucking adult and learn how to order for yourself.

11. "Did you see that new Starbucks controversy that's going around online? Crazy, huh?"

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Yeah, there's a new one every week. I so don't care anymore.