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10 Recipes You Won't Believe Exist

Deciding on what to make for your next dinner party? Depending on your friends, the below recipes may be intriguing or you may never hear from them ever again.

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F*ggots with Onion Gravy


Sounds like the main course at your local Trump Rally. It’s actually a traditional dish in the UK made from pork with additional herbs, bread crumbs and added flavoring. Only the Brits can turn a vulgar dish into an aristocratic cuisine.

Priest Stranglers


As if the Vatican didn’t have enough problems. Strozzapreti is an elongated hand-rolled pasta from Italy. The dish name translates to ‘priest-choker’ or ‘priest-strangler’. Either way don’t bring this to your next church retreat.

S*it on a Shingle


Nothing sounds more finger-licking than a viral infection with a side of bowel movement. The dish name is military slang for ‘Chipped beef on Toast’. Another appetizing term to describe the dish is ‘Save our Stomachs’. I think this dish should just be called ‘Pepto’ for short.

Boiled Baby


Is this a recipe or a Law & Order episode? I’m almost positive it’s probably both. The dish was a Royal Navy (UK naval warfare force) favorite during the Napoleonic Wars. The best way to describe this recipe would be dough filled with salt pork, wrapped up in a cloth, boiled and viola! Sounds like a Pillsbury biscuit stuffed with Spam! No children are harmed in the making of this dish.

Confederate Cush


I don’t even think Snoop would touch this one. This is a dish created during the Civil War and it’s also known as cornmeal hash. I wonder if you have a strong desire to have Doritos, pizza and a Dr. Pepper after this meal.

Head Cheese


This is sure to spice up your next ‘Wine & Cheese’ event. But it’s actually not even a cheese. It is ‘meat jelly’ (grab a bucket now) made with flesh from the head of a calf or pig. You’ll be happy to know the brain, eyes and ears are ‘usually’ removed. I’m sure this was a staple in the Dahmer household.

Limpin Susan and Hoppin John


Limpin Susan is okra and rice and Hoppin John is black-eye peas and rice. I’m unsure if they were just an accident-prone couple or a set of outlaws. But we're just thankful for that one good leg that allowed them to whip up these two delicious dishes.

Whore's Pasta (Pasta Alla Puttanesca)


A romantic evening is not complete without lingerie, slow jams and some slutty pasta. Pasta Alla Puttanesca is an Italian dish composed of spaghetti, anchovies, tomatoes and black olives. Apparently, Italian brothels offered a prostitute/pasta 2 for one deal.

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