I was 15 years old. Sitting at a YoungLife club with my new boy-friend, Kevin. We had just started dating a month before, but I had crushed on him for over a year. My stomach hurt, and not from nerves, I felt like throwing up, but held it together as long as I could. I finally told Kevin I needed to go home, I didn't speak at all for the drive home, and after he walked me to the door I rushed to the bathroom, emptying my guts and eventually acid for the entire night. Concerned, my mom took me to the doctor the next day after 12 hours of not keeping anything down. I received a shot to curb the nausea (all it did was reward me with an allergic reaction and swollen arm) and tablets to put under my tongue (they also reappeared in the toilet). At 4, after close to 24 hours of this, my mom called the doctor back and I was admitted to the hospital. I was prepped for surgery, I showed all signs of a burst appendix, but the surgeon told us he had a funny feeling and wanted to run one more test before taking me in. A cat scan showed that I had a burst ovarian cyst, as well as several more fully formed (and huge) cysts, and a misshaped uterus, forming a heart instead of an oval. I spent the night in the hospital to rehydrate, and was referred to an OBGYN.
In the weeks that followed, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and given the choice to go on birth control to help. I chose the pill, and at the age of 15 started on YAZ, eventually moving over to Seasonique and stopping my periods all together. I didn't have to deal with cramps, the heavy bleeding I used to have, or the break outs I suffered with monthly. I had started my period at the age of 10, so this was a welcome change, or at least I thought it would be.
Kevin and I eventually broke up after he moved for college, and I met Brandon (my current partner) at the age of 18. We enjoyed a health sex life, at first. However, a couple years after I had stopped my periods, and at the ripe old age of 21, I started gaining weight, I was exhausted, didn't feel like myself, and perhaps worst of all, started having intense pain with sex. I chalked it up to stress, I was 21, lived on my own, worked full time, and was a full time student. The next time I was at my general doctor I causally brought it up, and they suggested we tried a water based lube. My OBGYN said the same, so I thought this was my new normal. But my side effects kept getting worse. I weighed more than I ever had, and as I started my master's program I could barely stay awake after work and had raging migraines daily. Brandon and I hadn't been able to have "normal" sex in months (It's not very sexy to be almost in tears from pain while trying to make love...) I asked my general doctor again who ordered more blood tests, which again showed nothing. MY OBGYN laughed off the idea that I might be having side effects to the pill, and diagnosed me with Endometriosis, thinking that I had growths on the outside of my uterus causing the pain and other side effects. I went on Lupron Depot, a injection that Brandon had to give me once a month for 6 months. The needle was massive and the process was painful. I found some relief, but not enough.
I went back to my general doctor, who decided he wanted to diagnose me with a fatigue disorder if I passed a sleep test. To me, that seemed like giving up. My doctors weren't listening to my concerns, and instead of digging deeper wanted to give me a note that said I was just tired. So I started doing my own research. I googled my birth control, and finding nothing, decided to google the active hormone in it. I was on a generic version, called Daysee, the hormone was the same as the popular IUD Mirena. I kept finding lists of "mild" side effects, that simply said "some women might have more severe side effects". After about a half hour of searching, I finally found a case study.
Less than 1% of women had a reaction to levonorgestrel, a progestin hormone, the hormone also present in my own pill. The list of side effects mirrored my own life. Weight gain despite diet and exercise, exhaustion, head aches, depression, anxiety, and painful sex. At that point I threw out the pack of pills I had left. I was hopefully that I would find some relief, and I had been having cysts through the pills anyways, so what was the point? (I mean besides the birth control part, but we could handle that in different ways) In about two weeks I felt better, I finally felt that I was getting enough rest at night, my head aches were gone, I was less anxious, and had managed to have intercourse sex without wanting to cry for the first time in over two years.
I have now been off the pill for 2 full months, and my life has changed. I lost 10 pounds in the first month off of it, went into work without feeling like I would fall asleep, and can finally have intimate moments with Brandon again. I'm not saying that my choice is the right choice for everyone. But it is an option that should have been looked into long ago. The only prescribed medication I've been on for any length of time was my birth control, and while I didn't show side effects right away, 3 different doctors laughed off the idea that the pill could be anything BUT good for my body.
I've thought about going on a different form or hormone base, but I'm happy right now, and don't think that it's the best option for myself. While my periods so far (I'm on my 3rd since going off) haven't been easy, I'd rather deal with the heavy bleeding (that I'm hoping evens out overtime) and mood swings than feel how I did before. My own experience with pill based birth control isn't going to be the same for every women, but in a time of nothing but praise and pushing for women to take control of their own periods, it's a lesser known experience that should be explored more deeply.
Share This Article
