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15 Reasons People Who Don't Eat The Crust Must Be Stopped

Are you going to just stand there and watch them toss the doughy goodness? Or are you going to join DIGIORNO®, stand up, and FIGHT WITH FRESH-BAKED FURY?

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1. Crust is truly the food of the gods.

Brad Falchuk Teley-Vision / Via

Fun fact: Mount Olympus kicked the people who didn't like the crust OUT. They become mere mortals. Which wasn't fun.

2. Crust is why the universe invented dipping sauces.

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Marinara. Garlic sauce. Chocolate.

3. And those who do not understand this obviously practice black magic.

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Do NOT go over there. Don't! They know NOTHING of warm, crispy goodness.

4. They're basically saying nah to the circle of LIFE.

Is there a story more beautiful than that of a pizza crust, coming of age?
Thinkstock, 2

Is there a story more beautiful than that of a pizza crust, coming of age?

5. They are most likely stockpiling it for a day when there is no crust.

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Ever think about that?

6. And if they know that there will be such a day, they're probably orchestrating it.

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That's right. They will use it as a delicious, fresh-baked currency when doing business with crust lovers like us.

7. Or, maybe, people who don't eat the crust are simply wasteful.

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Words one can also use to describe them: basic, boring, uncouth, truly terrible.

8. Not to mention out of touch with reality.

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9. Because, you see...crust is reality.

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10. Math was invented purely to make sense of the complicated yet inconsequential nature of crust/reality.

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Stay with us.

11. Tossing the crust is basically

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In a word: SMDH.

12. Also, they don't understand the actual art form of crust bubbles.

It's like a cosmic galaxy of tasty, dark-sided moons.
Thinkstock 1, Getty Images 2 / Via

It's like a cosmic galaxy of tasty, dark-sided moons.

13. Do they have a problem with FREE BREAD?

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It's like, "Mmmmm, that was a nice pizza," and then, "WHOA, look at all this free bread I have!" How can you turn that down? People who turn that down are, without a doubt, honest monsters.

14. Also, like, the crust tastes VERY good.

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Doughy, delicious, puffy yet crisp, bite-size, beautiful...

15. And people who don't like tasty things are not to be trusted.

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Buh-bye, delectable dipping sauce vehicle haters.

But you know what's up. You respect the crust.

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And so does DIGIORNO®. Get your crust-loving hands on their Rising Crust today and show the nonbelievers the light.

This post is sponsored by DiGiorno.

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