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26 Types Of English Majors

You probably morphed from one to another at various stages of your college career. Bonus points if you were several at once!

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1. The Beatnik poet.

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2. Who usually writes on a typerwriter.

Because, let's face it, it's better than a laptop.
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Because, let's face it, it's better than a laptop.

3. The existentialist.

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4. The superstitious student who will only read/write under a specific tree.

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5. The aspiring novelist who's always carrying around a notebook.

Because you never know when inspiration will strike!
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Because you never know when inspiration will strike!

6. The Jane Austen addict.

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7. The British pronunciation advocate.

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8. The memoirist who views life in terms of books.

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9. The pedant who actually pronounces "Dante" the right way.

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10. The writer who got published once and won't let you forget it.

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11. The postmodernist who's always writing in cafes.

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Nothing like listening to the steady hum of human chatter, drinking a cappuccino, smoking a cig, and pretending you're Sartre.

12. The dude who wears his scarf like this:

Always wrapped around the neck in a way that seems casually strewn but is actually diligently premeditated. All year. Even when it's hot out.
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Always wrapped around the neck in a way that seems casually strewn but is actually diligently premeditated. All year. Even when it's hot out.

13. The fearless news editor.

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14. The grammar police.

15. The literary theorist who somehow manages to reference Derrida in every conversation.

16. The feminist who worships dark, female poets.

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17. Usually the same person who's always trying to dismantle the literary patriarchy.

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18. The avant-garde who works in a whirlwind of sex, drugs, and alcohol.

19. The rebel who thinks most popular authors are pedestrian.

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20. The passionate defender of the legitimacy of children's books and chick-lit.

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21. The engrossed reader who never looks up when walking.

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22. The future academic who really rocks argyle sweaters and blazers.

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23. The intellectual who recites poems at parties.

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Regardless of whether or not he/she was asked to.

24. The literary stylist experimenting with "stream of consciousness."

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25. The night owl who knocks out an essay in two hours.

26. And the socials who partaaay in the library.

But no matter which type of English major you are, we all know it beats being a finance major.

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English majors unite!

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