20 Famous Books People Like To Pretend To Have Read In Their Dating App Bios

This post is endorsed by all the ~sapiosexuals~ out there.

1. "Animal Farm" by George Orwell

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Clearly, the pigs of Manor Farm weren’t paying attention when Nietzsche said, “Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.” We are the pigs.

2. "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley

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Social hierarchies and class distinctions should have ended with Plato’s idea of an ideal society comprising the guardians, the auxiliaries, and the producers (or ideally, should have never existed in the first place), but humanity loves putting the ‘I’ in dystopia. This book has quite a few “life imitates art” moments that will make you want to recreate Edvard Munch’s “The Scream”.

3. "Romeo And Juliet" by William Shakespeare

True, I Guess… @tchncllytru

08:39 PM - 05 Sep 2021

Twitter: @tchncllytru

Kanye West this Kanye West that, kan ye not waste your life based on fatal fake scenarios created by misinformation and your aversion towards fact-checking? Regardless, Romeo will always be the OG Certified Lover Boy for romance book enthusiasts (like me).

4. "Kafka On The Shore" by Haruki Murakami (Translated By Philip Gabriel)

Debanjana Das

"The boy named Crow” (who might be an alter ego or an inner guiding voice, depending on whether you’re a psychoanalyst or a tarot card reader) encouraging teenage boys to become runaways, a man who can talk to cats (like Parseltongue, but for cats), and the constant negotiation between our conscious and unconscious minds (like a satisfying therapy session) — a motley crew of more such themes makes this book what BTS will call a "Dynamite".

5. "The Catcher In The Rye" By J.D. Salinger

David Hughes @david8hughes

[sees girl reading The Catcher in the Rye] "Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] catches all that frickin rye."

03:41 PM - 01 Jun 2014

Twitter: @david8hughes

If you’re Holden Caulfield, you don’t say “I love you”. Instead, you dream of bagging a job that keeps kids from falling off cliffs and get “damn near bawling”, albeit the happy kind, on seeing your little sister ride a carousel. And I think that’s beautiful!

6. "Pride And Prejudice" by Jane Austen

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Kudos to Jane Austen for writing about the societal double standards operating against women, at a time when writing for women was considered a profession akin to prostitution (how very immoral and exhibitionist of us, tsk tsk). Thank you, ma’am, for talking about relatable stuff like what’s it like to be attracted to walking red flags or have parents bent on rishta-ing you ASAP, and, of course, for acknowledging our everyday mutinies.

7. "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coehlo

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Before adding "wanderlust" to our bios, we really gotta learn how to cash in on it and build an empire, while finding love in the process, from our boy, Santiago. 10/10 would nominate his name for the next issue of Forbes 30 under 30.

8. "Sapiens" by Yuval Noah Harari

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As Mother Nature has been giving us the stink eye while being on her phone for the past few years, it’s high time we take stock of what humanity is and how it came into being.

9. "Fight Club" by Chuck Palahniuk

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Our protagonist really made the tweet “hot girl summer is over it's time for the fall of society” (credit: @behindyourback) his raison d’ etre. Vivere Militare Est, indeed.

10. "The White Tiger" by Aravind Adiga

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Mr. Ashok @ Balram, “Wow ok, unfollowing now. Was a big fan of his driving skills, was not aware that someday he will denounce my hypocrisy and inherent classism by plotting my murder”.

11. "The Perks Of Being A Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky

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In a world where adulting is mostly synonymous with "coping" and we’re always competing for resources amongst ourselves, sometimes loving friendships is all we need to feel infinite. This is your cue to sing "Aap Jaisaa Koi Meri Zindagi Mein Aaye" to all the cool people you’d like to be friends with!

12. "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Debanjana Das

Remember the time when you...okay maybe not you but your friends used to post lyrics of "Love You Like A Love Song" on Facebook, hoping for their crush to get the hint? And the day you applied extra lip gloss before heading for Math tuition, thinking that the object of fancy of your lovelorn heart will finally take notice? Nobody? Just me? Okay, cool! Mr. Gatsby was the wealthier version of all of us, and, not to be dramatic, but we can relate to him on a spiritual level.

13. "The Handmaid’s Tale" by Margaret Atwood

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The Republic of Gilead really tried indoctrinating its women into believing: “Your body is not a temple. It’s an offering in the form of a baby-producing flesh prison to the androcentric culture”. This novel is also a great instruction manual on everything a government should NOT be.

14. "Love In The Time Of Cholera" by Gabriel García Márquez

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Being in love makes you do interesting things (which sometimes borders on creepy, but that's a story for another day), like writing a 60-page long love letter (your unwritten term paper hates this!) or waiting for 50+ years for your beloved's husband to kick the bucket, so that you can finally profess your undying love for them. And in that moment, I swear Florentino Ariza was every millennial looking for romantic validation to distract themselves, from themselves.

15. "Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Brontë

SparkNotes @SparkNotes

Mr. Rochester hiding Bertha Mason in the attic

02:23 PM - 17 Apr 2019

Twitter: @SparkNotes

Did it hurt when you went back to the man who calls his ex crazy (literally) and keeps her hidden in the attic?

16. "To Kill A Mocking Bird" by Harper Lee

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It's the 1930s. You're sort of a child rebel. School isn't much to your liking but that's okay because at the end of the day, you get to wear overalls and climb trees with your brother and friend. A kind stranger leaves gifts for you in the knothole of a tree. Dating apps haven't been invented yet. Life is good, but only if you're white and don't pose a threat to the status quo.

17. "The Color Purple" by Alice Walker

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Yeah sex is cool but have you ever had a dalliance with your rat of a husband's super cool lover and let her facilitate your journey towards self-actualisation?

18. "Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott

Debanjana Das

The March sisters go through trials and tribulations to learn what’s their nature, how to nurture, what to fight for, and when flight is the best option. While their lives might not always look like a carefully curated Instagram feed, they get by with a little help from their friends, and also from each other.

19. "The Stranger" by Albert Camus

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POV: The society you live in is nothing less than a cult that is hyper-focused on seizing your autonomy as an individual.

PS: The next time your Tinder date asks you to stop being "extra AF" when you're filled with homicidal rage "because of the sun", tell them you're entitled to emoting however you please (as long as you don't pull a Meursault and actually end up harming someone, of course!).

20. "Mrs. Dalloway" by Virginia Woolf

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Sometimes all you need to do is block your current talking stage and buy the flowers yourself — enemies to lovers but with oneself (BIG WIN)!