14 Gloriously Disgusting Stadium Foods You Deserve To Eat

This is America. And you've earned the right to eat deep fried Nutella.

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1. The Down Wisconsin Avenue Brat — Milwaukee Brewers, Miller Park

Delaware North

This is a foot-and-half-long brat, and somewhere under there are cheese curds and shoestring fries and fried sauerkraut, and YES, YES TO ALL OF THIS.

2. Churro Dog — Arizona Diamondbacks, Chase Field

New to Chase Field this year: the Churro Dog.

It's a churro... inside a donut bun.... topped with frozen yogurt... and then topped again with caramel and chocolate. It's the logical combination of dessert, dessert, and more dessert. 10/10, would eat.

3. S'mores Covered Bacon — New York Mets, Citi Field

New at Mets games: S'mores covered bacon ($8 a piece)

We live in a world — a wonderful, magical world — where you can order pork for dessert. DESSERT PORK. What a thing.

4. Pork Rinds With Queso Dip — Detroit Tigers, Comerica Park

Sportservice / Via crainsdetroit.com

It's the mix of salty pork and liquid cheese we've all been waiting for. That sound you hear is every Buffalo Wild Wings executive asking themselves, "How the hell did we not think of this yet?"

5. Funnel Cake Fries — Texas Rangers, Globe Life Park in Arlington

Delaware North

All of the deliciousness of funnel cake without the mess of actually attempting to eat funnel cake. This is a brand new delivery system for fried dough. GET ON BOARD, every state fair in America.

6. The Big Mother Funnel Burger — Timber Rattlers, Fox Cities Stadium

Big Mother Funnel Burger @TimberRattlers Summer 2015

And here's a totally different take on funnel cake: Using it as the bun on a bacon cheeseburger. This shouldn't be a huge surprise, but the minor league team serving this monstrosity is from Wisconsin.

7. College Daze Bloody Mary — Minnesota Twins, Target Field

Twitter: @Hrbie14

Meanwhile, just across state lines, we have this: A slice of pizza INSIDE a Bloody Mary. This is maybe the most Minnesota thing of all time.

(Actually, the most Minnesota thing of all time would be Prince carving a bust of Kirby Puckett out of butter at the Mall of America while thousands of people nearby play Duck, Duck, Grey Duck, but that's not important right now.)

8. Chicken & Waffle Cone — Houston Astros, Minute Maid Park

New at Astros games: Chicken & Waffle Cone w/mashed potatoes & honey mustard drizzle

Honestly, I don't know how to feel about this. Waffle cones are delicious — but why bring fried chicken and mashed potatoes into the mix? This just doesn't seem like a thing we really need.

But I mean, I'd still eat it.

9. Cuban Pretzel Dog — Pittsburgh Pirates, PNC Park

New at Pirates games: Cuban Pretzel Dog (hot dog w/ham, pork, Swiss cheese, dijon & pickles)

Can we take a second to talk about how great a game at PNC Park is? The Pirates are good, the beer is cheap, and if you've already eaten your fill of Primantis, you can get one of these giant pretzel dogs. You're cool by me, Pittsburgh.

10. The Wayback Burger — Philadelphia Phillies, Citizens Bank Park

New at Phillies games: The "Triple Triple" Wayback Burger (9 patties & 9 slices of cheese)

The great thing about this burger: You'll be so busy trying to keep it from falling apart that you won't actually have to watch the Phillies play. It's a win-win!

11. Skyline Chili Cheese Dogs — Cincinnati Reds, Great American Ball Park

Delaware North

Skyline Chili is a truly underrated American institution — in a just world, we would speak of Skyline the same way East Coasters say the words "In-N-Out" — and these are hot dogs worthy of such an establishment. Also worth mentioning: the Great American Ball Park now offers self-serve beer machines. The future is here, and it only exists in Ohio.

12. Caramel Fries — Cleveland Indians, Progressive Field

Delaware North

You're looking at french fries topped with caramel, chocolate sauce, and whipped cream. A little bit of a sweet, a little bit of crunchy. Yes, please and thank you.

13. Nutella Poppers — West Michigan Whitecaps, Fifth Third Ballpark

bensbiz.mlblogs.com

When it comes to crazy stadium foods, nobody does it better than the West Michigan Whitecaps. These guys invented something called the Fifth Third Burger that has to be seen to be believed. They created the Baco (the bacon taco). This year, they're selling Oreo Churros (it is what you think it is) and Beer-A-Misu (like an ice cream float, but with Tiramisu and beer). Plus, they've got this: Fried dough stuffed with Nutella. These are masters at work.

14. Doughnut Dog — Wilmington Blue Rocks, Frawley Stadium

milb.com

Donut bacon cheeseburgers are so 2013. This is a hot dog inside a Krispy Kreme donut topped with bacon and then topped again with raspberry jelly. This is an insane sandwich, a mind-boggling combination of dessert and meat. It will probably kill you, but who cares because LOOK AT THAT THING. The Wilmington Blue Rocks will sell about a million of these this summer.

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