Lying can certainly be a dealbreaker in any relationship, but what if the lies weren't all that serious and actually...kinda wholesome and hilarious? Well, redditor u/strawberrymilfshake7 asked r/AskWomen to share the non-serious secrets they keep from their partners that wouldn't ruin the relationship, and these responses are a mixture of cute, funny, and chaotic.
Here are some of the most amusing and endearing responses:
1."My husband doesn’t necessarily care about his birthday enough to tell anyone about it or make any sort of deal about it. He also doesn’t have any social media where it will remind people. I text his friends, my friends, and our families to ensure they wish him a happy birthday. When we talk at the end of the day, he’ll tell me all the people who wished him happy birthday. He’ll say, 'It’s nice so-and-so remembered my birthday!' He’s pretty low-key about everything, and we both understand that people are busy with their own lives, but I just want him to be reminded that he is loved and people care, even if they don’t remember the date."
2."Whenever I’m annoyed with him (or anyone for that matter), I talk/rant to myself in the car and record it. Then, I listen to the recording and go, 'Yeah, fuck them!'"
3."My husband gets excited about 'bag fries' when we get fast food, so when I pass out the food, I always take a few of my fries and toss them at the bottom of the bag."
4."My secret is that on the days I tell him I’m not feeling well and I don’t want to snuggle, 9 times out of 10, it’s because I’m gassy, and I don’t want to blow nonstop stinkers while cuddling."
5."Sometimes, I look up spoilers for shows we're watching because I get stressed. But, I never let on and always pretend I have no idea what's coming so I don't inadvertently spoil anything for him."
6."I hide the fancy chocolates because he doesn't appreciate the difference from the cheap ones. He'll just absentmindedly eat them and not remember 10 minutes later. So now, we have simple chocolates for him to munch on while his mind is somewhere else, and I have a secret box of good chocolates."
7."My husband and I own a 300–500-cow organic dairy farm. I have all the cream in the world, and it's delicious, but there's one problem with it: It's really hard to make whipped cream from. It has to be separated from the milk completely and not sit for too many days. So, when we feed our company dinner and a fruit dessert with whipped cream, I secretly buy store-bought heavy whipping cream and use that. My husband loves to brag about serving farm food that we produced, so I just don't tell him, and I'm going to keep my lie to myself. But my butter is honestly the best."
8."I can't stand his favorite band. I think the music is so irritating, repetitive, unoriginal, and just awful. He loves them and finds the music really positive and uplifting, so I'll never tell him because I don't want to spoil it for him."
9."When he's having a really bad day, I'll reach out to his mom and say that he misses her. She will usually call him that day, or the next, but it always makes him feel a lot better. He thinks she has a special sense and knows when to call him when he's feeling bad. It's really cute. He lights up when talking to her. She's a great parent."
10."I hide my toothpaste because he squeezes it out like a heathen and leaves it open and goopy. I hate brushing my teeth with half dried-up toothpaste from a tube that looks like it was in a car crash."
11."My wife has memory problems, so I like to tell her the same jokes and funny stories multiple times to get her to laugh. Also, it's nice because if I don’t stick the landing the first time, I get a do-over."
12."I’m secretly putting money aside to obtain my MBA and get him a new vehicle. I do the budget, so I’m just slipping the money every two weeks into savings. I can’t wait to see his face when he realizes he has his car to trade in, plus a nice lump sum of cash to minimize payments. He also has no idea I’m even in an MBA program. Since I work from home, I can do my work/exams during the day."
13."My boyfriend and I have said 'I love you' to each other, but I’m seriously holding back on saying just how much. I adore him with every fiber of my being. He makes me feel warm and fuzzy, and I feel like a complete idiot. Especially if I’ve had some weed or a drink, I’ll just be sitting there getting misty over how much love I have for him. I don’t say anything because it’s still newish, and I don’t want to freak him out."
14."I 'misplace' shirts of his that I find to be unflattering. We were recently looking for one of our cats (we found her), when he happened to find one of his shirts all bunched up under the bed. I blamed the cats, and he believed me."
15."When I’m annoyed at him, I slap his towel and make faces at it. One time, I sneezed on it (it’s okay because I was doing laundry that day). It was very satisfying."
16."I have a special journal devoted to venting only about my husband's bullshit, so that in the next fight when he goes, 'How have I been [insert asshat behavior here]?' I can give real examples. I was also never taught how to have conflict resolution conversations growing up, so the journal helps prepare my thoughts before talking to him. It’s been a great tool, actually."
17."When I'm irritated with him, he gets his phone contact icon changed to a picture of a really messed-up opossum, and gets renamed 'Mr. Grouch.' TBH, he'd think it's funny, and it makes me less irritated."
18."Sometimes, I make up errands simply so I can drive away and listen to a podcast by myself. Or I'll go to a coffeeshop, order a coffee, and read a book. I love my husband, but we spend 90% of the time together (we work from home), and sometimes, I want to be alone. Especially after dealing with toddler meltdowns. He's really great about recognizing when I need help/a break, but it's still hard to relax at home sometimes as a stay-at-home mom."
19."I am not interested at all in watching the dozens of TikToks he saves to show me — like, I literally don’t care. But I watch them and give him the reaction he wants anyway."
22."I keep every little thing from when we go and do stuff together. I have the physical boarding passes from when we traveled, post-cards from the hotels we've stayed at, and I even kept a cool rock that he pointed out to me when we were hiking once. Just little things like that. I hope that when it's financially feasible for me, I can make a scrapbook of all the things we've done together."
23."We have a Samsung TV at home, and my phone is connected to it since it's also a Samsung. If my husband pisses me off, I'll periodically turn the TV off on him using the app from my phone. It's hilarious when I hear him rage from another room."
24."He has a really, really, really, impressively bad singing voice. Listening to him sing along in the car is a little like nails on a chalkboard. He does it when he's happy, though, and usually, it means he's comfortable with me. I would never tell him this because the fact that he is singing at all is so precious."
25."I secretly talk to his coworker to find out when they're going to meet the next day, just so I can get him a coffee ready in the morning before he has to leave the house. He doesn't know about it and always wonders (especially when they're meeting earlier than usually) how the heck I know. I said because of his multiple alarm bells, but honestly, I'd sleep through them all if I'd not set an earlier alarm for myself."
26."He’s notorious for leaving small bills on the counter/in his pockets. I grab them and use them as my 'ice cream fund' for dates with my kids. I go when he’s at work, and I’m still not sure if he knows, but he’s never said anything."
27."He found this soda that I really like and isn’t commonly sold. He wouldn’t tell me where he got it because he likes being the only one who is able to provide it for me. I found it a while ago in one of my supermarkets and drink it all the time, but whenever he gives it to me, I act like I haven't drank it in weeks! He gets excited knowing that he’s able to give me that small joy."
28."I take pictures of him while he sleeps (not in a creepy way). He is so freaking cute when he sleeps, and due to our work schedules and him traveling for work, there’s usually a week or two every few months that I won’t see him. I look at them when I’m going to bed, and it makes me feel better."
29.And finally: "We both love ghost stuff. We go on paranormal tours and try to go ghost hunting. We often just cuddle while watching ghost encounters on YouTube...but I don't believe most of the videos or paranormal stories we hear. I'm more skeptical than him, and I often think stuff like, 'It's just the Pareidolia effect,' 'That's staged,' and, 'That CGI is so bad.' But I keep it to myself. It doesn't matter if I don't believe those videos are real. I love seeing him so fascinated with the paranormal and the idea of catching ghosts on video. I want to believe with him because it makes him happy, and that makes me happy."
OK, be honest, who else melted because of how cute some of these stories are? If you have a non-serious secret you keep from your partner, share with us in the comments!
