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Posted on Mar 31, 2017

10 Reasons Why Edison Gollum Loves The Magical Colucio Monster

There's going to be a ton of cheese in this so I'll kick it off right now... When talking about how special you are, showcasing only 10 things is like picking a single grain of sand on the biggest beach in the world (eyeroll)... I could write a Harry Potter-esque series based on the many reasons why I love you, and we all know how I love lengthy posts lol... but for the sake of time and nostalgia- a 10 list seemed like the right call. I'm leaving out "top" because the more I uncover about you, the more I love about you and ALL of it comes together to make up something that has such a profound beauty to it- It's hard for me to find words to describe but if I had to... simply perfect.

by Gollum

Community Contributor

Some people wait around and just let life happen... you are not one of those people. Since the day I met you, you've been determined and you're great at whatever YOU CHOOSE to put your mind to. Whether it was writing amazing papers on Walt Disney, excelling and climbing the chain at Club, owning RTR after just one year, just absolutely killing the Salsa world or moving out... you're never satisfied and you DO when most people can't. It's something that I've always admired about you... that pride and that drive... the work ethic... you can do anything in this world and it's inspired me countless times- its a trait so many people strive for but can never attain because they just aren't you...

Via youtube.com

Not only do we both hate "RiRi" (ew 💩), not only are we both AXE-people, but we share the love of the classics. Jack's Mannequin, Sum 41, Lifehouse, He is We, GnR (!!!)... the list goes on. Music has always been a big part of my life and getting to share it with you has been amazing. I remember you drove me to my car once and I heard pop punk on your radio and I said to myself, "This girl is awesome". Then, you started playing "Don't Cry" on my 8 string and I said, "Marry this girl NOW!" lolll. From reading your Ron Pope/ He is We lyrics on Twitter, to laying in bed listening to GnR, to you texting me "OMG Civil War just came on my iPod" while you were waiting in the airport on your way to Shinae's/Cruise/Florida... this was just another layer that I fell in love with and I'm STILL WAITING to write a song with you... (get the Sum 41 reference? 🙄)

You don't take shit from me, RTR callers or anyone else... you stand your ground and that toughness is so badass and awesome you don't even know lolll. Your sassy side is one of my favorites. I can't count how many times I've literally laughed at loud at getting a "lame" response, an "eyeroll" or "MEH" to one of my corny old man jokes lol... its adorable and its something I cherish. Even during our bad days, when ignoring happens or you refuse to talk to me- I understand that stubbornness, its something that I can relate to and it has made me appreciate you in a whole new way... you're the ball-crusher and I have SO much respect for that... never change

When I first saw you, I had a couple of observations going on in my head:

1. "Damn, ummmm she's hot... can I talk to her without stuttering?"

2. "She thinks I'm ugly, shit..."

3. "Her brows are flawless."

4. "Can I ever get a girl who dresses like her?"

5. "Shit, she hates me and is probably calling mall security."

Bottom line- you are an icon, definitely a Menlo Mall legend.. now an RTR legend. Your sense of style is amazing and everyone envies that brow game. I remember being in Bahama Breeze with you at the bar, (the #remote night lolll), and the bartender interrupted us to praise your brows and ask how you did them... I was with a celeb- still waiting for that YouTube channel (🎥👽💄). The most amazing thing about it all, is that YOU make it work- not the other way around. Helping you pick out dresses to rent was so much fun because you could pull off anything and make it look amazing... and truth be told... whether its the most expensive Diane von Furstenberg or its my torn up Jets shirt and sweats... you have that rare beauty that makes anything look sexy as hell... we are all witnesses lol.

PS Urban Decay is still the best brand... lollll

If there is one common thread running through this post and pretty much anything I've ever sent you... its how much I admire your strength. Your sassiness, stubbornness, determination, ability to excel at everything you do... it comes from this great strength you possess. We share that thing where we don't tell anyone anything and we deal ourselves, I get it... you just wear it better. Whether its professional or personal, you always find a way to persevere and you're better for it... that maturity and willingness to constantly push forward... the "rub some dirt on it" mentality... like a million of the other traits you carry... its rare and I love you for it... I can only hope some of it rubs off on me.

Some of my best nights... ever... were sitting on my couch with you, just going off on B&J's in sweats and watching TV. I remember once we cracked open that second pint, "I don't give a fuck."... it was awesome. In one of the many novel-like texts I've sent you, I told you about the moment I thought I fell for you... we couldn't find anything to do, so we went to A&P and bought Red Velvet but we couldn't find single spoons... so we bought a pack of 50 lol. I remember sitting in my car, in my dads lot, eating ice cream with you... "Where Did the Party Go?" by Fall Out Boy was playing and I looked over to you and tried to take a picture but you put your hand up lol... right then, I knew how I felt about you and if I could get stuck in that moment forever, I would... ew cliche break 🙄... those are times that I'll always cherish... they mean the world to me.

Everyone has their own idea of what love is, what matters, what makes them happy. For me, I've learned that its the little things and its because of you. Just talking to you, sharing caller stories, screaming MEH at each other- it can make a bad day, a great one. I can't tell you how many ALEX and ANI emails I have saved over the last 3 years... or how many Hello Kitty pics I have on my phone because it simply reminds me of you. (Spoiler: Pretty sure I have pics of Hello Kitty stuff from every city I've visited lolll... the New Orleans HK stuff was the best)... its words I now use because of you, my FIRE emoji game I learned from texting you, "smiley with the hearts for eyes", my love for Audrey Hepburn, the fact that I openly judge eyebrows now lol... the certain looks you used to give me or the cute tiny freckle on your right trapezius (between shoulder and neck.. yea I had to look it up)... its those little things that are often taken for granted but in knowing you, those are the things I absolutely love and every single one is worth fighting for.

I mean.... it's kinda like the best... and I love the different versions. There's the one where you legit find something funny and actually laugh... (I'm lame so I never got that one a ton)... There's the one where I say something corny and you're trying to act like I'm lame but you know its funny so you like half smile, then turn away and laugh so I don't see it lol (my fav)... There's the seductive smile, the one I used to get in the early days... Then there's the smile where you really know something isn't funny but you laugh to be nice but I know in your head you're like "EWW BYEEE"... All of them are gorgeous and could literally start wars- every time I'm lucky enough to see it, I could fall all over again. The world is a better place when you're smiling Colucio.