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The Lyrics To The Full "Cheers" Theme Are Completely Insane

Sometimes you want to go where your child isn't torturing animals.

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Probably not — the full version of the theme song was rarely played on TV. It did however appear in this montage commemorating the 200th episode.

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Let's take a closer look at those lyrics, courtesy of co-writers Gary Portnoy & Judy Hart Angelo:

Paramount / Via Giphy.com

Making your way in the world today

Takes everything you've got;

Taking a break from all your worries

Sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

All those nights when you've got no lights,
The check is in the mail;
And your little angel
Hung the cat up by it's tail;
And your third fiance didn't show;

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,

And they're always glad you came;

You want to be where you can see,

Our troubles are all the same;

You want to be where everybody knows your name.

Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee's dead;
The morning's looking bright;
And your shrink ran off to Europe,
And didn't even write;
And your husband wants to be a girl;

Be glad there's one place in the world

Where everybody knows your name,

And they're always glad you came;

You want to go where people know,

People are all the same;

You want to go where everybody knows your name.

Where everybody knows your name,

And they're always glad you came;

Where everybody knows your name,

And they're always glad you came...

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