Living With a Couple Who Aren’t Your Parents is Terrible

The hard truths about living with a couple.

1. Sharing a bathroom with a couple

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Always approach the door slowly and yell “Can I come in?” before opening it, just in case they’re having shower sex. Again.

2. Saving food from both of them

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Put away some special snacks for later? Think again — you’re guaranteed to find them together on the couch, eating your snack stash.

3. Dealing with all the random makeouts

Sometimes you walk into a room and they’re already there, making out. It doesn’t matter which room — they’ve done it in every room already.

4. Dealing with all the spontaneous fights

If they aren’t making out in every room in your home, they’re arguing in every room in your home. Good luck sneaking around and trying to avoid interrupting.

5. Avoiding picking sides

And after every fight, it’s your job to comfort at least one half of the couple — without pissing off either of them.

6. Leaving dishes around

All roommates leave dirty dishes, but couples dirty twice the dishes, and sometimes turn not doing the dishes into a competition. Whoever brings down the Leaning Tower of Pizza Plates has to do all the dishes in the stack.

7. Leaving all the passive aggressive notes

Reminding one half of the couple to do certain tasks, like picking up clothes, with a passive aggressive note is trouble. You’ll write the note for one half of the couple and the other half gets mad at you.

8. Losing your pets to them

Your dog will choose the couple over you, because they can each pet one of the dog’s ears at the same time.