Why Millennials Suck at Dating
I'm going to address something that I've seen people complaining about countless times on social media/real life.
Stop blaming the year/millennials/technology for your sh***y dating life. Blame your approach. You're out at bars or using "dating" apps like Tinder trying to find a substantial relationship? Most likely, that will not work. Now, I'm not saying it's never happened. I know a handful of people who have met their significant other that way and are in a committed, happy relationship. But more often then not, you've got slim pickings at last call at your favorite bar or the "matches" you've landed from swiping right after seeing the most superficial parts of a person. You need to be realistic. Most people on Tinder or at bars trying to pick someone up, are just doing so because it's a quick fix. They need a date for a night or a one time hook up. They swipe right, or approach a stranger they find attractive. It's easy to assume there will be alcohol involved. You spend one night together. One person may be into it, seeking more. The other, not. You were temporary. Meant to be introduced and then just as swiftly kicked back out of that person's realm of existence. Not that you did ANYTHING wrong. That's just what the other person's intentions were. You were unaware. You set your expectations too high. You wanted it to go differently. You're ready for something serious. Your suitor wasn't. You need to understand that people are at different stages in life, and a relationship might not be what they need at that moment in time. That doesn't make them a bad person. If they had made their boundaries and intentions known before hand, yes it would have possibly altered the way you approached the relationship. Maybe, you wouldn't have gotten so deep with it. Maybe, it wouldn't have mattered to you anyways.
What I'm trying to say is, you can't expect someone to be on the same vibration as you. Especially if you met in a way that doesn't completely allow you to divulge into a person. Their past, their present, their future. Everyone has a story. And you have to respect that. If they never said anything to make you believe that they wanted anything more, do you really have justification to be mad at them for not texting you back or not wanting to pursue anything further? Stop blaming the generation you belong to for the state of your dating life. Read people. Understand people. Understand situations.
Yes, there are a lot of people in your dating pool that are maliciously trying to get into people's heads, feeding them false hope of love, and then using them for various things such as sex or money. That is different. They are lying to you to try to obtain something that they want. Avoid these people at all costs. We call these people f**kboys or f**kgirls. Be wary of this type of people. If you're too smitten to tell, ask your friends about the situation. Let them know what y'all have done together. The conversations you've had, and any other red flags you've noticed. It's easy to be blinded by lust or hope of a relationship. A fresh set of eyes could be the insight you need in translating the outcome of your relationship. And ask a friend you trust. Listen to them. Usually, they are right.
And my last point to be made, don't try to force love. Focus on self betterment. Do things that make you happy. Find yourself. Take care of yourself mentally and physically. Don't go searching for love. What we often forget in this world of swiping right and sliding into DMs, is that serendipity exists. A fortunate happenance. A pleasant surprise. In other words, fate. Surround yourself with people you love, and things you love to do. Love will find you when you least expect it, and it will be that much sweeter. Love isn't something that you should look for. Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably s**t.
XOXO
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