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To What Degree Are You A Creamlorf?

These days, it seems like everyone is wondering what Degree of Creamlorfery they have achieved in their 12 years of life on this earth. Well, today, we here at Papa's Big Cream Factory are gonna tell you all about your cream or whatever. Time to... get creamed!

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  1. 1. You approach a deep hole. It is a clear autumn day on Octopus Isle, a Sacred Place. Adeline's dreams echo in your memory, questioning the past moments. Who were you? Who are you? What is left after you remove all of the circumstance?

    I scream and cream.
    I seek answers verbally, knowing that none will come.
    I remove my blade from its sheath and prepare for combat.
    I perform the Dance.
    CREAMLORF.
  2. 2. You're falling off of a building. How do you solve this problem?

    Flap my wings, baby.
    ENGAGE THRUSTERS.
    Spray cream everywhere and hope for the best.
    Pull out my blade. You don't want to know what happens next.
    This is not a problem.
  3. 3. How do you stave off the wanderlust?

    I take my Cream Hose and I just use it all day long.
    I cut it in half.
    I wander.
    I lust.
    I do a down throw leading into two up aerials, then finish it off with a high-altitude Boost Kick.
  4. 4. A man hands you a large jug of milk. You look down and feel deeply disappointed. Which milk have you been given?

    Skim
    2%
    Whole.
    A brick of colby jack.
    A brick.
  5. 5. You're on the 700th floor of the Super Tower. By looking out the window and using your Ultima Vision, you can see that an armed robbery is occurring on the sidewalk below. How do you fix this?

    I sunder the building in two, then use The Blade to HyperLaunch the larger half at the assailant.
    I perform the Dance, distracting the Gun-haver until the Victim Individual can do an escape.
    We don't know for sure who has the moral high ground here, gonna need to investigate further before intervening.
    Stab him with a Very Long Cream.
    I don't have Ultima Vision yet.
  6. 6. Who's your daddy?

    Myself.
    CREAMLORF.
    The Blade.
    More cream than you can possibly imagine.
    A clear tube full of cream, unapologetic and beautiful.
  7. 7. If you were in a race, how would you acquire the Upper Hand?

    Shoes with cream on the bottom.
    I do not participate in the race.
    Oh, yeah, I starve my opponents.
    Opponents legs? More like cut off by the Blade.
    I'd do a down throw leading into two up aerials, then finish it off with a high-altitude Boost Kick.
  8. 8. Back to Octopus Isle. Gentle waves lap at the ocean shore. The cool breeze you knew as a child has returned, if only for a moment, to give you one last kiss from the past. The nostalgia overwhelms and softens the blows of yesterday. What do you desire?

    A moment at home.
    To understand it all.
    A shiny piece of metal, sharpened to a razor edge.
    To achieve otherworldly elegance.
    Cream.
  9. 9. What do you fear?

    Am I going to make it through today?
    Where will I go?
    What if they don't like me?
    What do I do then?
    I don't want to be alone.
  10. 10. Are you ready?

    The blade and I are ready.
    I am ready.
    I could always use a moment more.
    Only if there's cream involved.
    I do a down throw leading into two up aerials, then finish it off with a high-altitude Boost Kick.

To What Degree Are You A Creamlorf?

You got: First Degree: Junior Creamlorf

You have only just begun your life as a Creamlorf, and it shows. Your simple answers to complex situations will do for now, but if you are hoping to Ascend to Seeker Status, you'll need to be more Maximized. Be careful, if you come into contact with any other Creamlorfs of greater power, they may Merge with you, thereby ending your life.

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You got: Second Degree: Creamlorf Seeker

You've been around the Cream Jar a few times and your philosophical approach to problem-solving shows it. Dad would be proud. A little more work with Martial Weapons and you'll be ready to Ascend to Sentinel Status.

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You got: Third Degree: Creamlorf Sentinel

Protector of all things Creamy, defender of all that is Lorf, and Master of the Blade, you are the Creamlorf Sentinel. With a few hundred years of Studying the Blade, you'll be ready Ascend to Legendary Status. But when that time comes... will you be willing to cast away the Blade?

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You got: Fourth Degree: Legendary Creamlorf of Days Gone By

A creature of grace and beauty, you understand the finer nuance of Creamlorfing. You'll need to become the Most Powerful Creature Ever if you want to Ascend to the fifth and final degree of Lorfage.

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You got: Fifth Degree: CREAMLORF SCREAMLORF

You are the one and true Creamlorf. You understand that if a problem can't be solved by throwing Cream at it, it probably isn't worth solving. If you wished it so, The World Would Bow To Your Cream.

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