13 Things We’d Like To Check Before A First Date

So many disasters could have been averted. Here are some things we wish we knew BEFORE committing to that date.

1. Does this person like cats? What if they don’t like cats?

What do you mean not everyone likes cats? Impossible!

2. How crazy is their ex?

Make sure you have a good exit strategy, just in case.

3. What are their honest thoughts on this book?

Trick question. If they’ve read it, cancel that date. Then block them on your phone forever.

4. How many online dating profiles does this person actually have?

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Please not Craigslist…anything but Craigslist…

5. Do they know how to do their own laundry?

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Well that explains that musty smell. If they can’t do laundry, they should just do themselves a favor and wear cotton, which is less likely to retain those smelly odors.

6. Do they even wash their hands after using the bathroom?

I’m talking about 30 seconds with soap and warm water here. No shortcuts allowed!

7. Just how many “dates” does this person have lined up after you?

So much for feeling special, huh?

8. How does this person feel about deodorant?

Deodorant is nice. In moderation, of course.

9. How much does this person invest in their appearance?

If your date shows up like this, just walk away and pretend this never happened.

10. Do they have awkward eating habits that are sure to embarrass you in public?

It’s already tricky enough to maintain a conversation while eating. Don’t make it harder.

11. What does their internet history look like?

On second thought, maybe it’s just better not to know.

12. Do they still live at home with their parents?

There had better be a good reason for this.

13. And most importantly, who’s paying for dinner?

This is an important precedent to establish. Dating is a serious investment!

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