We all know that deep down, no matter who we are, there's that little itty bitty voice in our heads that whispers to us when we're wronged and lets us know that sometimes...revenge is a dish best served hot.
So, when Reddit user u/kickypie posed the question, "What's the most deliciously wicked act of pettiness you've committed in the wake of a relationship's spectacular implosion?" In r/AskWomen, I knew it had the potential to be full of unreal stories. Here's what they had to say:
1. "After finding out my longtime partner was having a full-blown affair (including having the other woman over while I was out of town and her sleeping on my side on the bed), I cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush. Oh, did I chuckle when I heard him brushing his teeth that night."
2. "I gifted my boyfriend a surprise trip to see his best friend in another state. He met a woman there and told her I was just a roommate and I was moving out. Well, about a month after he got home, she called the house ('80s), and I was a deer in the headlights when I asked who she was, and she spilled the whole story. I had left my dream job to move with him to a new city and state for his job."
"We had been together for four years. I confronted him, and he said he was in love with her and I would need to move out, which I did. He was a real fashion guy. I cut the crotch out of all his suits. He was a wine snob, so I took all the good wine with me, along with the best antiques. I then took the landline phone and called Japan, where you were left on hold forever, before I walked out the door. Back then, international calls were obscenely expensive. Finally, my neighbors threw me a goodbye party, and he knew the whole neighborhood knew what he did. Being very vain, he couldn’t stand that anyone would think he was less than brilliant."
3. "I broke up with a guy while he was getting a tattoo on his chest. He couldn't follow me out. It was an ugly tattoo anyway."
4. "I caught my ex-boyfriend of three years downloading threesome dating apps and talking with other women. So I took raw turkey bacon and fish, and I stuffed the inside of curtain rods with them. I also placed the bacon and fish in hidden locations so he couldn’t find them. I know that apartment smelled like shit."
5. "My ex was a 'vinyl DJ.' After we had a huge argument, I got up during the night and took out all of the vinyls and put them in the wrong sleeves. He had a fair few hundred; it took me ages. I then packed my little overnight bag, which I kept at his, and left. He was supposed to play a gig the next day, and I heard he was RAGING."
6. "When I left, I stole all of the cords. TV cord, cord to the Xbox, cord to the fridge, cord to the lamps... ALL of the cords."
7. "He had a girlfriend the whole time we were spending weeks together in his apartment. Except it was THEIR apartment, and she traveled for work. I signed him up as being interested in the Mormon Church repeatedly. Requesting visits and saying, 'even if I am resistant in person, keep trying because it’s what’s right for me.' I also signed him up and requested information about Scientology, as well as Jehovah witnesses, again requesting them to come to my house and try and preach to me."
8. "My ex cheated on me. I turned his best friend against him simply by telling him everything he did. It wasn't nuclear in intention, but he lost his entire friend group over it. Props to his best friend and all his other friends who actually refused to tolerate how he treated his girlfriends."
9. "I had been seeing a guy for about three months, and I thought we were getting pretty serious. He'd spent nights and weekends at my place; we were (I thought) making plans to meet families and parents; we spoke on the phone every day at great lengths; and then one day I was completely ghosted. Blocked, blocked, blocked on everything. I was devastated. It took a few months for me to somewhat heal from this."
10. "My ex cheated on me, and after he left, he left me to pack up his stuff. My cat peed in the suitcase that was sitting out before I had a chance to pack. Not my fault; I 'didn't notice.'"
11. "My boyfriend left me when he found out that he got me pregnant. I shared this with my friends, and they secretly filmed a video of how he said that he was not ready to be a father and how his love disappeared after I got pregnant. My friend posted this video on various social networks, and it received almost 2 million views on TikTok. Over time, almost every person in our city saw this video. His mother called me to delete it because her sweet son was depressed."
12. "I found his Reddit account, where he only interacted with porn subreddits and messaged other women. So, I bought his name as a domain name and then connected it to his Reddit. If you go to 'hisfirstnameandlastname.com' it goes directly to his Reddit profile and comments."
13. "He cheated on me while I was out of town and didn't bother to pick me up from the airport when I returned. I had to get a taxi home, where I sat alone in our apartment for hours until he 'got done helping this girl with her resume.' When I confronted him, he admitted immediately that he slept with her and he 'didn't know which of us he wanted to be with' and asked for a few days to think."
And finally, here's a perfect example of how hiding behind a computer screen and an anonymous name can always come back to haunt you:
14. "I found out about a month after we bought a house that my boyfriend of three years posted on a subreddit talking negatively about my body (specifically that I was never his type, asking for tips on how to ask me to get boob implants because my boobs were too little apparently, etc.). He later doubled down when confronted, saying that he wasn’t really attracted to me due to my skinniness."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.