back to top

15 Great Moments In Drunk History

History never repeats. Except the greatest all-time events of Drunk History.

Posted on

2. Paul Revere's Midnight Ride - April 18, 1775

Paul Revere rode through the colonies to warn people that "the British are coming." He carried a flask with him for sustenance and by the end of the ride it sounded more like "the, uh...the, um, British, man, they're coming, so like...they're coming."

3. British Surrender at Yorktown - October 17, 1781

The British Army surrendered at Yorktown, leading to our nation's independence.

The victorious American soldiers immediately began playing flip cup.

4. Great Seal of the U.S. Adopted by Congress - June 20, 1782

This day in #DrunkHistory: on 6/20, the Great Seal of the U.S. was adopted by Congress after Franklin, Jefferson and Adams opened up the good bourbon and started discussing how weird birds are.

5. George Washington Inauguration - April 30, 1789

George Washington was inaugurated as the first President of the United States.

He got so hammered celebrating that his powdered wig ended up in a tree.

6. Star-Spangled Banner Written - September 14, 1814

The Star-Spangled Banner was written by Francis Scott Key.

He got inspiration for his lyrics from multiple bottles of merlot.

7. Abraham Lincoln Inaugurated as the 16th U.S. President - March 4, 1861

Abraham Lincoln was inaugurated as president.

To get through the long ceremony, he kept a secret bottle of gin in his stovepipe hat.

8. Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address - November 19, 1863

Lincoln made his famous Gettysburg Address. During the speech, he drunkenly forgot the word for "eighty" and had to use the more confusing "fourscore" instead.

9. The Statue of Liberty Gifted to the U.S. - October 28, 1886

The French sent the Statue of Liberty to the U.S. The gift was sent around 2 a.m. with a message asking "you awake?" The French were full of regret the next morning.

11. U.S. Orchestrates the Signing of the Treaty of Versailles - June 28, 1919

The U.S. orchestrated the signing of the Treaty of Versailles. While brainstorming names for the treaty they had a few too many and ended up saying, "Fuck it, we'll give it the same name as eight other treaties."

15. Sally Ride Becomes First Woman in Space - June 18, 1983

Sally Ride was the first woman in space and the first person to discover the secret to safely pouring tequila in zero gravity.

Inspired by:

View this video on YouTube

Drunk History airs Tuesday July 9 at 10/9c on Comedy Central.

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss