1. An ice cream sandwich with sprinkles is just...*gets choked up* *grabs a handful*
These polychromatic perfections can be yours. All yours. Click here.
2. Only thing better than breakfast? Pizza. Only thing better than breakfast pizza? Literally nothing ever. Not taking questions.
Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at suppertime. Start waking and baking here.
3. This churro funnel cake ice cream sundae somehow sounds tastier with each consecutive word of description.
We were sold at "churro," tbh. Dive in here.
4. We don't know what chicken enchilada puffs are, but we do know that if we don't get some in the next two minutes we might die.
Hehe. "Puff." Hehehe. Recipe here. Hehehe.
5. We would literally vote for this cinnamon sticky bun milkshake for president.
Vice president? Naps. The sticky-icky goodness is all here.
6. These ridiculous little baby gems make you forget you were paranoid as hell just a minute ago.
You should eat like 12, probably. They're small. And you're a growing gender-fluid entity. Clicky the linky here.
7. These chicken wings are fried in waffle breading. I'll give you a second to pick up the pieces of your blown mind before I continue.
Not chicken n' waffles. Chicken in waffles. Witness the miracle here.
8. These bacon cheddar pinwheels just broke your hazy lizard brain.
We cannot function normally until this is in our mouths. Don't even ask. Roll up one of these fatties here.
9. And Lord o' Moses, these birthday cake cookies are fit for a king. A super-faded king who just wants to vibe to some mellow tunes.
We're entering new territories of food-based euphoria here. We're teetering on the brink of madness. Bask in the beautiful, beautiful birthday magic here.
10. This sloppy joe/taco hybrid was gifted to mankind by the munchie gods on a moonbeam of pure flavor.
It's a taco joe. It's a slaco. We're too hungry to think of dank names right now. Just give it to us. Get sloppy here.
11. This pan-fried peanut butter sandwich is making us feel emotions we don't even have words for.
Just imagine that sweet, salty peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth and a cold glass of milk to wash it down. *shudders* Get fried here.
12. These mac 'n' cheese bars make the snackage portable. Portable, bro.
Jam on these babies in the back of the Uber, but keep it low, or we'll have to share. It'll be our little secret. (shhhhhhhhhh). Recipe here, but keep it between us.
Gather up your dank snacks and settle in for Time Traveling Bong, a three-night event from the minds of Broad City’s Ilana Glazer, Paul W. Downs, and Lucia Aniello. Catch it at 10:30/9:30c on, um, 4/20, obvs.
