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10 Ways Kim Jong-un Should Celebrate His Birthday

Kim Jong-un is 33 today. Here are ten ways the Outstanding Leader and Brilliant Comrade should make it really special.

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2. Explain to 24 million starving North Koreans what “cake” is.

4. Give yourself another fancy title. Supreme People’s Secretary Commander of Lawn Darts? Available.

6. You're a workaholic. Let someone else do the despoting for a day.

8. Hit up all the restaurants that offer free dessert on your birthday, bro!