You always go for the self-checkout line at grocery stores.
You never take anyone's recommendations, because you're perfectly capable of finding a compelling movie on your own, thank you very much.
You never need help bringing in groceries. In fact, you've never needed more than one trip to get all those bags inside.
Instead of hiring a plumber to fix your leaky sink, you watched a YouTube tutorial and now…
Speaking of YouTube tutorials, you saved a few bucks and a bunch of time by watching one about cutting your own bangs.
You don't need a bunch of likes to prove to yourself that your picture is awesome.
You once spent an entire day alone watching old reruns while eating Chinese food, and it was literally the best day of your life.
You know 12 different ways to open a bottle, and none of them involve a bottle opener.
You've never given a spare house key to a friend, because there is a zero percent chance of you ever losing your house key.
You've never taken a group exercise class, because the idea of someone telling you how to exercise is viscerally upsetting.
You rely so little on the help of others that your gravestone will literally read:
Check out Comcast's new service innovations here!
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