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This is his first relationship, but also it's Ben. So, put yourself in the shoes of everyone's favorite business pre-med Phi Delt and find out how to maneuver love with a reasonable and conventional young lady! Prove your Bonebrake knowledge! What Would Ben Do?

Bonebrakin' My Heart

Luckily, Jill is very easy to please. However, you still mess this up. You snack on peanut butter pretzel crackers while you study. You're even sweet and offer one to Jill! She pops it into her mouth. That is when you tell her it had been on the ground.

There is no good answer!

Time to eat! What choice should you avoid?

However, you do so by offering yourself as a model for her to practice special effects on. You end up looking like Harry Potter had he never been given sunlight or love. This is not the first time she has put makeup on you.

Good job! You've convinced her to stay indoors. Jill will live to see another day.

It's a school night and Jill wants to go to Scary Acres in the FREEZING COLD. What do you do?

This is what you turn to as soon as Family Guy is off for the night. Equally distracting, you make sure the volume is nice and healthy. Jill gets nothing done, and somehow you're still pre-med despite this choice.

It's both, but this is worse.

ALL OF CREIGHTON, YOU SPECIFICALLY SOMEHOW, THINK THAT JILL IS EXAGGERATING. IT IS A CINEMATIC CLASSIC. THAT'S NOT A WEIRD JILL THING. THAT IS AN ACTUAL REAL-WORLD FACT. SHE KNOWS SHE WATCHES WEIRD MOVIES. THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Movie time with Jill! She suggests "The Graduate."

However, you're so supportive and chill that this is fine with you! It's her job! She finds you after the show in the crowd. She asks you if you closed your eyes at that part. "No," you say. "I saw all of it. I didn't have my glasses on though, so I couldn't see who the guy was." You make it sound a little bit like you would fight the culprit if you found him, but you went to Prep, so that's never going to happen! 
You survived Shakespeare AND watching your girl fake cheat on you. Fun night! Good job!

Unfortunately she does, and it's not a peck.

Jill has a show! Does she have to kiss anybody?

Maybe a bit too brave? Unfortunately, you send a flirty text to a group chat by mistake- not Jill specifically. Jill finds this hysterical. You however, refuse to let this go all night and decide you "can never return to Creighton."

You tell her that her home is garbage when you're SOBER, silly. This is when you get brave!

You crazy college kid, you're drunk! What do you say to Jill?

In your defense, this is probably a losing game. The point is, you tried! That counts for something! Or, at least it used to.. This is college now. This is basically the real world. The real world doesn't care if you're doing your best or that it's your birthday. The real world killed JFK and thinks vaccines cause autism Oh GOD THEY ARE GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE OUT THERE. God is dead, everything is permitted.

You are an amature! I bet you don't even LIKE the Huskers.

You really don't know what you're doing, but things could be worse? You might not be the best emotional communicator, but you get where you need to go in the end! You make Jill think you don't like her and she then dates a basketball hotshot for a week. But you fix this! You stop talking to her for that week. That somehow works because it annoys her. You're making progress! Straight from a fairytale, you are.

That could've gone smoother.

You've never seen that movie, but you'll quote it anyway! You do that often and it drives Jill insane because you haven't EARNED the quoting right and are basically plagiarizing but she likes you and will let this slide. You are becoming very suave in a Don-Draper-kind-of-way. You haven't watched that show either.

You're basically a Nebraskan Casanova.

You are a Bonebrake expert whether you like it or not! It's like private school summer camp every day livin in Heider! Whatever that is. You went to public school because you're a man of the people who knows real pain. You're about as close as two straight white men can be.

You're probably Nick Goodenow.

You've come a long way since you first got to Creighton and you are now THRIVING. It doesn't feel that way. In fact, you may feel more confused than when you first got to college BUT WHO CARES? LAMO. LOL. HA. YES. Your girl is crazy about you and you think she's a-ok! And that, my friend, is the true American dream.

You are actually Ben Bonebrake.

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Bonebrakin' My Heart

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