Everything T.V. Gets Totally Wrong About Living In N.Y.C.

We don't all emerge from the subway looking perfect.

There are two types of people in this world: those who dream about visiting New York City and those who actually live there. As our reputation dictates, the second group are a bitter, angry people whose distress in life is mostly caused by the first group of people. People who live in New York are in constant astonishment at the droves of people who must check this smelly place off of their bucket lists. What is so alluring about it? There's a lot of tall buildings that light up a night. Big whoop. Where does all the hype come from?

ENTERTAINMENT.

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Shows like Younger, Friends, Sex and the City, Seinfeld, and a whole host of others claim to call this concrete jungle home, but there is nothing realistic about the way our favorite characters live. Let's take a closer look.

1. Nobody--literally NOBODY--emerges from the subway looking flawless.

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If you walk out of the subway completely composed, without a hair out of place, not in need of an oxygen tank, you are not a human being. I'm looking at YOU, Sutton Foster.

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2. Traveling from one part of the city to another is NOT easy.

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If you work by Central Park and live in the East Village, you are not just "running home" to grab coffee with your friends on your lunch break. That is a 30-minute subway ride, MINIMUM. Got that, Ross? Get back to work!

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3. Grabbing a drink with coworkers? Put your commuting shoes back on, bi-yatch.

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The only people who walk around the city in their heels are people who aren't going that far or are waiting for their Uber. The rest of us put our crappy sneakers back on to hike to our next destination.

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4. One does not simply *walk* around Manhattan.

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No one just strolls around New York. Sure Charles, let's meet up in Bryant Park to talk about our problems and take a walk. NO. New Yorkers have a destination and they walk with PURPOSE to get there. There's no loitering on the sidewalk talking. That's how you get trampled.

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There you have it. Fictional television shows are just that: fictional. New Yorkers don't have breakfast at their friends' apartment before going to work. They don't take three hour lunch breaks to travel 50 blocks for a cup of coffee. The subway stations aren't immaculate and are definitely not the place for casual conversation. The city where dreams come true? More like the city where your Carrie Bradshaw-glamorous dreams go to die.