Watching Star Wars - Empire Strikes Back for the very FIRST Time!
Star Wars – The Empire Strikes Back
Written by Clare Cordell
FINISHED!!! I enjoyed that one! Here's what I thought...
THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
HERE WE GO! PART 2! (Which apparently is actually part 5?)
I've had to pause those opening credits twice already to catch up.
Is that a kangaroo?
Oh GOD Indiana Jones is hotter in this film than the last one!
What the stink is that polar bear eating??? And why is Luke upside down?
The cold never bothered me anyway... Said Luke as he took a nap in the snow.
Oh don't panic! The ghost of Christmas Oby 1 Kanobi has arrived and woken him up.
Good plan... Rescue him then drown him in a tank?
There's SO MUCH sexual tension between the little princess and Indiana Jones.. I predict a love triangle...
FUZZ BALL! YES the insults begin!
Alone in the south passage... Beheheheheeee 😏😏
Oh she's MESSING with these poor boys emotions Indiana is well jel!
CUE EVIL CHARACTER MUSIC
You can fucking hear him before you can see him.
GET THE MAN AN INHALER!
LASER TAG THE SEQUEL.
Are the giant robot camels evil?
IS THAT SUMMER HEIGHTS HIGH MR G. OPERATING THAT SPACE CAMEL?!!!!!
THAT would make an excellent sketch haha "welcome to Mr G's space camel kids please mind the humps"
I bet you Luke will 'use the force' in a minute....
He's crashed this is a perfect opportunity Luke
USE THE BLOODY FORCE!
The way Darth Wheezy swishes around with his cape is so camp!
Chewie sounds like me when I've eaten to much cheese...
Indiana Jones is just so attractive it makes me loose focus.
Fantastic. More killer space sea creatures.
NO NOT R2!!!!
Oh thank god.
Everything Luke says I think he needs to follow it with musical number....
He's looking for Yoda.. Is he the little green dude who talks backwards?
I LOVE THIS GUY!!! Hahahah!!!
The princess and Indiana are deffo going to get it on.
Hahaha C3PO is such a cock block!
Okay. New name to process -Anikan Skywalker.
"I'm not afraid"
"You will be...."
GIANT FUCKING SPACE MOTHS!!! FUCK THAT!!!!!!! GET OUT NOW INDIANA!
Oh my word. Where they INSIDE a space whale?!!!!! LAWD!
Wahahahahaha Luke is wearing Yoda like a back pack!!!!!
Ah. Now of course he is battling between the good and evil within himself.
That's right Luke - go into the scary space forest and LEAVE your weapons. Shut up Yoda!
WHERE DID DARTH WHEEZY COME FROM?
Death by decapitation?! Really?
Oh okay this is just a hallucination...
Is Luke high?
Chewie is having a full on bitch fit tantrum in this spaceship! Someone scratch behind his ears QUICKLY!
Hahahaha Yoda is jokes! "Use the force & make that potato levitate whilst I stand on your foot and hang you upside down"
GREAT QUOTE RIGHT THERE!
"Do or do not - there is no try"
Is Yoda moving that entire spaceship with his mind? Impressive.
HAHA - He just looked at Luke like "that's how you use the force bitch."
Is this Lando? He's a bit of a twat..
OH NO! They blew up C3PO!!!!
"LUKE! Don't give in to hate!"
TOO LATE BITCHESSSS BYEEEEE!!
How does she have time to do her hair like that?
Talking to Chewie is as frustrating as talking to Lassie.
I KNEW IT! Of course Wheezy is here!!!!!! Damn it Lando you knob.
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO INDIANA JONES!!!!!!!!
Help them Nurse Chewbaca!!!
If they had phones in space they could just send Luke a quick text and say "Babe it's a trap... Stay away!"
"I love you"
Chewbaca is so emotional 😭
THEY FROZE INDIANA JONES!
BLOODY HELL THERE IS STILL 40 MINS LEFT OF THIS FILM! I've been watching this all day!!!
Okay so this is going to be a big fight scene with Luke and Wheezy now...
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER LUKE!
Punch him in the throat that's clearly his weakest spot the guy can barely breathe!
LUMOS... Oh no wait... Wrong film
A strong gust of wind just blew him out of the window. Brilliant. AUNTY EM AUNTY
EM! No.. Wrong again!
One of them is going to fall off this platform..... My money is on Skywalker.
HE CHOPPED HIS FUCKING HAND OFF!!!!
Will he get a hook now?
I AM YOUR FATHER!!!!!
THERES THE MONEY LINE RIGHT THERE!!!!
Bloody hell he just THREW himself off the platform. I knew it.
Now what Luke you moron?!
Lando's hair after he's been on the roof of that spaceship is hilarious!
R2D2 is the real hero of this story.
Great that they magically fixed his hand but I'm kind of disappointed he isn't getting a hook...
Wheezy is so pissed off he walked out like an angry parent without saying anything!!!
So hold on.... They've just left Indiana Jones with Darth Wheezy?
I suppose I'll find out in the next one....