When you're younger, there are certain things that creep you out more than others. For some of us, it was the "I'm not Stu," moment on Rugrats.
For others it might've been that terrifying Halloween episode of Boy Meets World.
However, certain things may've bothered you so much, you blocked 'em from your memory. Folks, there's an episode of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers called "No Clowning Around" and I hadn't thought about it in YEARS.
The other day I was skimming through old Power Rangers episodes (as one does at 11 p.m.) and I began playing this one. It's fine at first — they're at the fair having a good time, funky music is playing, everything's chill.
They let us know that this episode's villain will be clowns by showing us a Putty disguised as one, lurking around. If you were scared of clowns as a kid, you're screwed at this point.
Trini is with her younger cousin, Sylvia, who she introduces to the rest of the group.
Later on, they're all just having fun making human pyramids and shit, so the main evil clown, Mr. Pineapple sees this as a perfect opportunity to kidnap Trini's cousin.
Maybe it's because I watched a lot of America's Most Wanted and Unsolved Mysteries as a kid, but I was perpetually scared of being kidnapped by a human, so the thought of a kidnapping clown only amplified that fear.
When Trini goes searching for her cousin, there's panicky music playing and random shots like these flash on the screen:
Anyway, Trini goes to get her cousin from Mr. Pineapple and he finally reveals himself to be a weirdo, so she's immediately ready to throw hands.
That's when it happens. Mr. Pineapple sprinkles some magic dust on Sylvia.
AND TURNS HER INTO A CARDBOARD CUTOUT.
A. CARDBOARD. CUTOUT.
For the next several minutes, you've got to watch Trini casually carry around a cardboard cutout of her cousin.
Then the rest of the clowns start revealing themselves and it's creepy as hell. Here's one clown doing the Get Out run straight toward the rangers.
Here's another clown creepily disappearing behind a ride and emerging as a Putty.
LOOK AT THIS SHOT. This is the stuff of horror movies.
Truly, Mr. Pineapple treads into Pennywise territory and it's really uncomfortable.
Eventually, the clown morphs into a much less scary monster, and at this point you can breathe a little easier.
BUT TRINI'S COUSIN, SYLVIA IS STILL A CARDBOARD CUTOUT.
Finally, they just dump a bucket of water on Sylvia and she comes back from being a cardboard cutout. Voilà.
After that, Trini returns and helps them whoop the (now overgrown) monster's ass, and everything is good and fine except for any child who just witnessed all of this madness.
The episode ends with everyone back at the fair, riding rides and enjoying their day as if the whole evil clown attack didn't just happen an hour ago. CASUAL. Trini apologizes to Sylvia for what she went through but honestly she should say sorry to all of the youths who are now adults, living with an irrational fear of being turned into a slab of cardboard.
