This Ranking Of Frozen Pizzas Will Settle Which One Is Best

They're not delivery.

Here are the rules:

This an expert level ranking of various frozen pizza brands using a six category rating system. These rankings exclude any frozen pizzas that are limited to specific stores, like Target's Archer Farms, or Safeway's/Vons' Signature Select. Here are the six aspects each pizza is being rated on, on a scale of 0-5:

Taste = Does it make your tastebuds happy?

Availability = Is it carried at a lot of stores?

Variety = Is there a good assortment of pizza types?

Cost = How much you'll spend vs. the quality of what you're getting.

Aesthetic = Does it look tasty?

Closeness to delivery = How comparable is it to actual delivery pizza?

14. Celeste

celestepizza.com

The box says “pizza for one” so it's exciting that you don't have to share, unfortunately the pizza itself is just pretty OK. In Celeste's defense, they're very cheap, microwaveable pizzas, so expectations should be low. Still, a pizza Lunchable might be more authentic than this (and at least those come with a little Crunch Bar).

13. Totino's Pizza Rolls

totinos.com

These will always hold a special place in your heart for their service throughout childhood. However, if there were a list of things that taste amazing at 10 years old, but trash as an adult, Pizza Rolls would sit atop it.

12. Totino's Party Pizza

totinos.com

IN YOUR BROKEST HOUR, YOU CAN COUNT ON TOTINO'S PARTY PIZZAS TO HELP GET YOU BY. These things are heroes, saving bank accounts and growling bellies across the world. I don't care if they taste like a giant cracker doused in marinara sauce with off-brand cheese on top, they are perfect and will forever be the real MVP of the frozen food aisle. They're only ranked this low because they look awful and despite being delicious, they taste nothing like actual pizza.

11. Amy's

amys.com

These have "organic" ingredients and "light sodium" options that make you feel like you're eating somewhat healthy or whatever, so that's cool. Also, they offer a variety of pizzas, though a couple of 'em are questionable. For example, there's the "no cheese, roasted vegetable pizza" which sounds offensive and appalling.

10. Tony's

tonys.com

There are times when you may only have like $3 to your name and Tony's pizza is a great option in those instances. However, the fact that its appeal depends solely on how dire your financial circumstances are says a little bit about how mediocre it is.

9. Screamin' Sicilian

screaminsicilian.com

Screamin' Sicilian makes great tasting pizzas that aren't crazy overpriced and their box aesthetic is on point. Along with the fun design comes a cutout mustache, which people seem to get a kick out of. The only real downside of these delightful pizzas is the trouble you might have finding them. They're not as widely carried as some other brands, but they're well worth the search.

8. Wild Mike's Ultimate Pizza

wildmikesultimatepizza.com

These are just about everything you need in a frozen pizza. They taste great, they offer different classic pizza options, and they're LARGE. Feed a family, feed a group of friends, feed yourself and have leftovers — these are all possibilities. Much like with Screamin' Sicilian, the sole downside of Wild Mike's Ultimate Pizza is that they're not sold in as many stores yet.

7. Tombstone

tombstonepizza.com

Tombstone Pizza tastes like middle school cafeteria pizza hooked up with Little Caesar’s HOT-N-READY to make a pizza baby. It's a trusty brand of pizza that can be found everywhere, and what it lacks in delivery pizza quality, it makes up for in being inexpensive.

6. Red Baron

redbaron.com

Red Baron gets creative, offering brick oven crust, rising crust, French bread pizzas, and even mini deep dish options. Hell, they even have a breakfast pizza, that's covered in gravy sauce and topped with sausage and eggs. Whether you'd eat that or not, you've got to respect the innovation. In addition to the variety they offer, Red Baron is cheap, delicious, and available all over, making it a reliable go-to pizza option.

5. Newman's Own

newmansown.com

Newman's Own products are all stellar. You can dip your Newman’s Own pizza into Newman’s Own ranch dressing, and wash it down with some Newman’s Own wine. While nobody is going to mistake this for Papa John's, it's still a top five option that you can find blessing a frozen food aisle near you.

4. California Pizza Kitchen

cpkfrozen.com

All of their pizzas are magnificent, but the white pizza (garlic, spinach, mozzarella, parmesan, asiago, and romano) is actually life-changing. The only downside of not eating at an actual California Pizza Kitchen restaurant is you don't get to indulge on their appetizers before and desserts after the meal.

3. Bon Appétit

bonappetitpizza.com

Best thing about Bon Appétit pizzas? The crust is thin, so you can devour the entire thing in one sitting and not feel terrible about yourself.

Worst thing about Bon Appétit pizzas? The crust is thin, so you can devour the entire thing in one sitting and still want more.

They're not quite as easy to find as others, but if they continue to grow and perhaps add more options to their arsenal, they could certainly make a run at the #1 frozen pizza crown.

2. Freschetta

Freschetta.com

The quality and taste are as good as ANY other frozen pizza, and it might even be better than some actual restaurants' pizza. These things are beautiful, they taste good, and they provide you with quality that you're okay paying a little more for. However, there's a teeny tiny factor that separates one brand slightly ahead of them...

1. DiGiorno

DiGiorno.com

Variety. The thing that sets DiGiorno apart from every other brand is their impressive selection. They've got the quality, they're available everywhere, they're well worth the cost, and the only true downside of DiGiorno is when you finish the last slice. When you factor in fees, tips, and how long it takes for delivery to arrive, DiGiorno is arguably THE BEST pizza option considering your time, money, and tastebuds. Also, they offer a stuffed crust pizza. STUFFED CRUST, YALL.

It's undeniable, the frozen pizza undisputed champion is DiGiorno!

DiGiorno.com