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15 Reasons Panda Express Would Be The Perfect Lover (If It Were A Living Person)

Orange Chicken is love, orange chicken is life.

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1. Panda would be down to travel to other countries.

@officialpandaexpress / Getty / Via

Canada, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Guam — Panda has already found its way to a bunch of places, so it'd obviously be a wanderlusty-as-heck human. You'd be able to take photos in all of those cheesy traveling couple poses!

2. Panda looks good regardless of lighting and filters.

Panda Express / Wikipedia

Styrofoam, plastic fork, orange chicken piled on, that's when you look delicious-est, I hope that you don't take it wrong.

3. Panda is currently at the perfect age.

Google / Wikipedia

Panda is 33 years old which means it's literally peaking right now. What better time to get romantically involved with the happiest version of Panda there'll ever be?

4. Panda has no shady secrets regarding its whereabouts.

Panda Express

For all of the insecure, suspicious daters out there who don’t trust their significant others — imagine if they were willing to tell you their precise location at any given time? Panda Express literally does that by telling you where ALL OF THE PANDAS are.


10. Panda is considerate and conscious of your insecurities.

@kxssidylynn / Via Twitter: @kxssidylynn

A lot of people don't know how to use chopsticks and get embarrassed about it, but Panda introduced a combo utensil called the "chork." Wow, so thoughtful.


13. Panda would listen and pay attention to you.

@officialpandaexpress / Via

You know how hard it is to find someone who cares what you like these days? That's a hot commodity, but the Panda app remembers your past orders. It knows what you like ;)

14. You'd impress your family when you bring Panda home.

@officialpandaexpress / Via

When someone introduces the person they're dating to their parents and siblings, they want them to be impressed. Well, best believe if you show up with Panda in hand, you're going to get a good response.

15. You'd be comfortable sleeping with Panda.

Anabgd / Getty Images

Being able to comfortably share a bed and get good sleep together is important for couples. Well, what food makes you sleepier after eating it than Panda Express? Imagine going steady with Panda and having those high quality snooze sessions for a lifetime — that's a happily ever after.