1. This totally non-threatening candle.
A great anniversary gift, tbh. Get it here.
2. This discreetly scheming mug.
Sip this slowly, as you stare at your co-workers in the morning. Buy it here.
3. These imperative coasters.
With pretty lettering too, so they're almost polite. Get them here.
4. This shirt with an inconspicuous message.
Slowly glower at your enemy as you reveal Nermal's message. Bonus: Use your middle finger. Buy it here.
6. This flask that's as honest as it gets.
Pull it out while you're on the dance floor, surrounded by leering nitwits. Buy it here.
8. This patch that you can pin on whenever someone you don't like gets too close.
Get it here.
9. This pillow that's so over desperate pleas.
Nothing better than to serve Edgar Allen Poe to the face of losers who try to win you back. Buy it here.
11. This tote that's basically a weapon.
It's cute that people think knitting is a harmless hobby. Buy it here.
12. This deceptively cheerful mug.
Buy it here.
13. This umbrella that's perfect for responding to catcalls.
The best part is that you can spin it toward any offender. Available here.
14. This doormat that keeps the fuckboys away.
Leave the prickly phalluses outside, please. Buy it here.
17. These pencils that will never leave you.
Because we all know borrowing pencils is a lie. Get it here.
18. These sinister salt and pepper shakers.
Get them here.
19. This shirt that you can wear whenever you're up at 4 in the morning baking everything in your cabinets.
And the special ingredient you use to make your food taste better? Male tears. Available here.
20. This snarky pin.
Wear it with everything. Get it here.
21. And finally, these matches that'll ignite your way to the top.
In case candle number one falls short. Buy them here.
