Jenny Chang / Buzzfeed 1. This totally non-threatening candle. damselflycollective.com A great anniversary gift, tbh. Get it here. 2. This discreetly scheming mug. shop.nylon.com Sip this slowly, as you stare at your co-workers in the morning. Buy it here. 3. These imperative coasters. mcpressure.com With pretty lettering too, so they're almost polite. Get them here. 4. This shirt with an inconspicuous message. instagram.com Slowly glower at your enemy as you reveal Nermal's message. Bonus: Use your middle finger. Buy it here. 5. This delightfully crass pouch. blueq.com Buy it here. 6. This flask that's as honest as it gets. shop.nylon.com Pull it out while you're on the dance floor, surrounded by leering nitwits. Buy it here. 7. This shirt that understands reality. ripndipclothing.com ripndipclothing.com Catfished? You? Hell nah. Available here. 8. This patch that you can pin on whenever someone you don't like gets too close. thefuneralclub.bigcartel.com Get it here. 9. This pillow that's so over desperate pleas. society6.com Nothing better than to serve Edgar Allen Poe to the face of losers who try to win you back. Buy it here. 10. This phone case that shows how feisty you are. shop.nylon.com shop.nylon.com Serve it with high-class sass. Get it here. 11. This tote that's basically a weapon. cafepress.com It's cute that people think knitting is a harmless hobby. Buy it here. 12. This deceptively cheerful mug. oddgifts.com Buy it here. 13. This umbrella that's perfect for responding to catcalls. fullforceimports.com The best part is that you can spin it toward any offender. Available here. 14. This doormat that keeps the fuckboys away. shop.nylon.com Leave the prickly phalluses outside, please. Buy it here. 15. This necklace that shows who's boss. etsy.com Get it here. 16. This notebook that you'll casually leave on your coffee table. etsy.com Available here. 17. These pencils that will never leave you. jacvanek.com Because we all know borrowing pencils is a lie. Get it here. 18. These sinister salt and pepper shakers. storenvy.com Get them here. 19. This shirt that you can wear whenever you're up at 4 in the morning baking everything in your cabinets. store.gnarlytees.com And the special ingredient you use to make your food taste better? Male tears. Available here. 20. This snarky pin. shop.nylon.com Wear it with everything. Get it here. 21. And finally, these matches that'll ignite your way to the top. izola.com izola.com In case candle number one falls short. Buy them here.