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    If These Penis And Vagina Highlighters Don’t Give You A Beauty Boner, Nothing Will

    Being a dickface never looked so good.

    A couple months ago, I was rocked to the goddamn core when I found out there were lil' lipsticks — excuse me, lipdicks — in the shape of penises that came in 12 flesh-toned (ew) shades.

    But today I have unearthed something so stunning that it'll make you immediately choke up* at its beauty: these penis-embossed highlighters by Bitch Slap Cosmetics.

    The highlighters — called "Deep Throat" — come in a variety of colors, like this shiny bronze and deep pink shade that looks so beautiful you could wear it as a gd medal, TBH.

    There's also a soft pink shade because duh, obvs, etc.

    And there's a rainbow highlighter with a peen on it because 2016 needs something good for once, goddamn it.

    And guys, if that wasn't enough to blow yer load, THEY'RE ALSO MAKING VAGINA HIGHLIGHTERS.

    Like, the world doesn't even deserve these. They're too good.

    ANDDDD they are combining both dicks and vags in a highlighter palette called "Netflix and Chill."


    Here's to making 2016 less of a shithole. :)