Skip To Content

    If These Penis And Vagina Highlighters Don’t Give You A Beauty Boner, Nothing Will

    Being a dickface never looked so good.

    A couple months ago, I was rocked to the goddamn core when I found out there were lil' lipsticks — excuse me, lipdicks — in the shape of penises that came in 12 flesh-toned (ew) shades.

    @grownfolkparty / Via instagram.com

    But today I have unearthed something so stunning that it'll make you immediately choke up* at its beauty: these penis-embossed highlighters by Bitch Slap Cosmetics.

    @bsccosmetics / Via instagram.com

    *Deal with it.

    The highlighters — called "Deep Throat" — come in a variety of colors, like this shiny bronze and deep pink shade that looks so beautiful you could wear it as a gd medal, TBH.

    @bsccosmetics / Via instagram.com

    FYI, this one is called "Rust Dark Tone" NOT "Rusty Trombone," which I misread because my mind is garbage.

    There's also a soft pink shade because duh, obvs, etc.

    And there's a rainbow highlighter with a peen on it because 2016 needs something good for once, goddamn it.

    And guys, if that wasn't enough to blow yer load, THEY'RE ALSO MAKING VAGINA HIGHLIGHTERS.

    @bsccosmetics / Via instagram.com

    😭😭😭

    Like, the world doesn't even deserve these. They're too good.

    @bsccosmetics / Via instagram.com

    ANDDDD they are combining both dicks and vags in a highlighter palette called "Netflix and Chill."

    Bitch Slap Cosmetics / Via bitchslap-cosmetics.com

    LOOK AT DAT WEEN SHEEN.

    @bsccosmetics / Via instagram.com

    Here's to making 2016 less of a shithole. :)

    @bsccosmetics / Via instagram.com