If you're into experimenting with new makeup looks, chances are you've tried contouring at least once.
Who doesn't want to be perfectly dewy and chiseled at the same dang time? *crickets chirp* That's what I thought.
The right shading and highlighting can add some serious definition.
And all the makeup tutorials make it look soOOoOooO easy.
Some even call contouring "Spanx for the face." (....I don't.)
But you guys, it's not.
It can be horrifying.
Like, a straight-up chilling experience.
1. For one, it takes tons of practice.
Sure, this looks like a good place to put my cheekbones.
2. ...and prayers, TBH.
She's def gonna need some for her ~first time~.
3. Plus, you need 231029381092 brushes to get the job done.
OK, fine, three, BUT STILL.
4. And, like, where do all the different colors go?
I think I put the highlighter her— wait, is this even highlighter?
5. It's so complicated, it needs its own v. detailed face map.
6. But even then, you still get lost.
Am I pretty yet?
7. So you'll look anywhere for some guidance.
8. But then the more tutorials you see, the more overwhelming it gets.
BRB, drawing a cheetah on my face.
9. Like, is my forehead supposed to resemble a very strong Wi-Fi signal?
10. Or am I just supposed to put a bunch of rando dots all over my face?
11. Oh, what's that? Paint full floral motifs on your cheeks to get the contour look you want?
I am not this talented, people.
12. And apparently you need at least eight shades of concealer.
Green, orange, and hot pink? *looks at bank account and sobs*
13. In the middle of every YouTube tutorial, you're bound to have an existential freakout.
Is clown contouring supposed to be fun? Asking 4 a friend.
14. And just when you thought holding the brush was the easiest part...
It fails you.
15. Not to mention it takes FOR-EV-ER.
16. Like, no one understands how much work it is.
17. And your bathroom is a mess after a good ol' contour sesh.
I used approx. 79 pieces of makeup to look semi-decent.
18. Not to mention you can look like a totally different person once you're in the sunlight.
Guess I'm not going out outside, lol.
19. And just when you baaaarely get the hang of doing your face, people are already contouring their full body.
*immediately throws all makeup in the trash*
But all the pain is worth it for that one ~perfect~ selfie.
CONTOUR QWEEN.
