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    Posted on Sep 10, 2016

    I Ate Target’s Brunch-Flavored Candy Corn So You Don’t Have To

    IT'S LIKE A TINY FRENCH TOAST IN YOUR MOUTH.

    In case you're not up on your very hot candy news, this week Brach's released an exclusive new candy corn flavor for Target that tastes like — wait for it — BRUNCH.

    Target / Via target.com

    You can get it right now for $2.50 a bag.

    Since I've never turned down a bougie brunch in my GD life and candy corn is one of my top Halloween treats*, I knew I had to get a bag (or two, oops) ASAP.

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    *P.S.: Everyone who hates candy corn is either A.) Wrong or B.) Dead.

    When I first opened the bag, I was slapped in the face with the most saccharine maple syrup smell that — hours later — I still cannot shake.

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    *sprays perfume around self in an act of desperation, cries*

    Inside these bad boys are lil' candy corns in three brunchy flavors: chocolate chip pancakes, waffles and strawberry, and French toast and maple syrup.

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    You can tell by their little stripy things. That's an official foodie term.

    I tried the chocolate chip pancakes first because, well, hi/duh/obvs. Upon first bite, I was hit with the traditional candy corn taste, but then the pancake batter and "chocolate" (it's artificial as hell) started to take over in an almost offensive way.

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    If you like over-the-top sugary candy, then you'll love this lil' niblet that is JACKED on fake chocolate and cake batter taste. Honestly, I'm a bit freaked out how a literal kernel of corn can taste stronger than an entire brunch meal, but here we are. In the land of garbage food.

    The waffles and strawberry were up next, and whew, this one put me over the edge. It tasted like a lame-ass version of strawberry milk. But, like, solid. And like it was having a mid-life crisis in my mouth because it didn't know what the hell it wanted to be.

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    In short: fuckin' cute, but fuckin' gross. NEXT.

    Finally, it was French toast time. IDK if I was just on a sugar high, but I LOVED THIS ONE. It's literally just sugar with a maple syrup taste. That's it. Nothing else. *kisses fingertips* Perfection.

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    All in all, these suckers are hella intense, and you can probably only withstand a small handful before you're like, "I feel like a disgusting gross freak, goodbye."

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    AKA what I say to myself every day.

    They're worth buying if you fuck with candy corn and want to try something new and sort-of-not-that shitty. But, um, next season can we have some mimosa-flavored candy? Thanksss.

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    LOVE YA.