1. Your car gets a full wax, but you only get a half.
2. You forbid dirty paws inside the vehicle, but allow them on your sheets.
3. You pull out all the bells and whistles to wash your car, but spend about two minutes showering.
4. You cover your car with beautiful sentiments, but write chores on yourself.
5. You have a special glove to touch your car, but you'll scratch yourself with dirty fingernails for eternity.
Resist.
6. You follow a strict schedule for oil changes, but haven't been to the doctor in years.
7. You call your car by an adorable nickname, but are not as kind to yourself.
8. You've reserved an entire parking lot for your car, but live in a one-bedroom apartment with three roommates.
9. You keep stuffed animals on your dashboard so it doesn't get lonely, but you refuse to try online dating.
10. You buy a new steering wheel cover with every change of season, but you haven't bought a new towel since college.
11. Your car gets a ribboned bow for its birthday, but you only get a plastic one. :(
Remember — you're someone's gift.
12. You don't go a day without wearing your silver car ring, but have lost your wedding ring four times.
"Don't tell the Mrs.!"